Father learns best

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat Pat Richter (left) a parent educator from the Parent Connection speaks with Luis Martinez along with 15 to 20 other fathers yesterday afternoon in the Memorial Student Union. The fathers discussed ways to become more active in their children's lives.

His dad, Matt, an elementary school teacher, had 200 years of collective parenting on his side yesterday in a workshop for fathers. The men came together to learn about how to play an active role in parenting their children.

The Tucson Community Foundation for Southern Arizona and the Coalition of Com-munity Foundations for Youth sponsored a "Dads Count" workshop yesterday in the Mem-orial Student Union Cactus Lounge. It taught the 15 attendees how to raise children better.

"One thing you don't see very often is fathers getting together," said Pat Richter, a parent educator at The Parent Connection. "There's not really space for it in society."

Discussing the trend of fathers' distancing from the family in today's society, Richter stressed the importance of parenting.

Children whose dads are an integral part of their lives often have higher self-esteem, shy away from drugs, drop out of school at lower rates and earn better grades, he said.

"They're much more prone to get As than kids whose fathers aren't around," Richter said.

Something as small as how a child is held influences the infant, he said.

The mother usually picks up the child that same way each time, while the father's method varies.

Although both ways offer the child security and touch, the father's method teaches a life lesson, Richter said.

"What the child is getting out of this is that the world is unpredictable, and that's OK," he said. "They grow up with a view of the world based on the microcosm within the family."

Fathers broke into groups according to their children's ages and discussed strategies of dealing with common child-rearing problems.

Some dads said the meeting emphasized things they already knew but don't practice, such as acknowledging their children's feelings more.

"I could do that a little more often," said Randy Ryan, father of three children and a UA research specialist in plant science and facilities analysis.

The dads said that uninterrupted time with children doing activities the child wants to do and letting them experience the natural consequences of their actions, like missing class after staying up late the night before, helps the child learn independence.

One response was to be an active member of the child's life by knowing the child's friends, friends' parents and teachers.

Other parents said they avoid focusing on bad things their children do.

"I make a point of catching my child doing something right," said Luis Martinez, father of three children.

Most of the fathers agreed it is important to recognize the positive things their children do, like washing the dishes without being asked.

"When they're doing something right, jump on that," Ryan said.

Stephanie Corns can be reached via e-mail at Stephanie.Corns@wildcat.arizona.edu.