What We'd All Like to Think

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat Amanda J. Feuerman

Sex. Everything comes back to sex. C'mon, admit it girls, some of us think about it just as much as the boys do. Some of us. Not me, of course. And this doesn't make any of us perverts. No, I'd like to think this makes a gal human. Typically adolescent. Or maybe typically adult. I'd like to think those things.

When I was little, I liked to think that I would marry a rich, handsome prince some day who would love me forever until we both died and went off happily into the clouds of heaven.

When I hit about 13, I liked to think that I would meet the perfect boy and he would look at me with his stunning blue eyes as we kissed gently in the night under a starry sky. Something out of one of those trashy smut novels you were sneaking into your reading repertoire during the junior high school years.

At about 16, I liked to think that not everyone was having sex. That it was OK if I was still a virgin. I liked to think my friends were in the same boat with me and the rumors about Amy getting knocked up by Jimmy were just rumors. I liked to think that when my time finally did come, it would be with the most perfect man God had ever created... Yeah, it could happen; a girl can dream, can't she?

Well, that's what I wanted to think. What I'd like to think.

Now I am 19 years old. I am a sophomore in college. Suddenly, I am the only virgin in town! Everyone is doing it! And everything comes back to sex! Every conversation, every problem, every solution - sex, sex, sex!!! Stressed out?

So, most virgins would like to think the night they lose their virginity will be perfect. I'd like to think that. Some would also like to think they'll be in love with him and he will feel the same way about them. I'd like to think that too.

Or does anyone out there still hope to find both love and sex? You can tell me, I won't tell anyone, I swear.

The hearsay builds. How great it feels, how romantic it can be. What an amazing experience it is to share with the one you love. How after it's all over, you'll be a changed woman. Well, maybe not changed, but I assure you, there will be no more worrying about virginity, no more being lost in the conversation when the topic is who's sleeping with whom and how good was it?

Sure, every virgin out there would like to be thinking these things. And I'd like to think that when the proverbial event finally occurs, we will be so dumbfounded and so amazed... maybe relaxed.

He'll hold me afterwards and ask me how I feel. I'd like to think it will be a meaningful experience and I'll try real hard to come up with an answer that doesn't offend him.

But, alas, I also would like to think that the first two words I utter will not be THAT'S IT?

Amanda Feuerman is a sophomore "as undecided as it gets," and can be reached at Amanda.J.Feuerman@wildcat.arizona.edu. Her column, Swimming With Sharks, appears every Monday.