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Porn king theory

By Jon Ward
Arizona Daily Wildcat
January 13, 1999
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Arizona Daily Wildcat

Jon Ward

Referring to his announcement unmasking several Congressmen who have allegedly had extramarital affairs, Hustler magazine porn king Larry Flynt declared, "Tonight is probably the first night their wives actually know where they are."

Flint has emerged in defense of President Clinton in a campaign to expose hypocrisy among Clinton's attackers. He offered big money to anyone who could prove they had illegal sexual relations with a member of Congress. He apparently played a significant role in the resignation of House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston (R-La), who admitted having broken his marriage vows before Flynt had published anything on him.

Flynt has politicians looking over their shoulders. His targets are "people who go on TV and keep attacking Clinton," people who are guilty of the very offenses they publicly rail against.

You know things are bad in Washington when our elected leaders are getting a lesson in morality from a pornographer.

Flynt actually offered Ken Starr a job as an adviser on pornography after reading the Starr report. He's calling his bombshell exposŽeacute; "The Flynt Report," only he says it's not sexually sordid. King Smut claims to have the whammy on at least a dozen Washington politicians.

Washington has reached its moral nadir in my mind. All over the media we see a Capitol of national leaders playing little bipartisan games, back-stabbing, lying to us and to each other, and screwing around like petty little children. Viagara might be the worst thing for this country since the two party system.

Politics. In other news, unemployment has dropped to 4.3 percent.

Larry Flynt loves attention. But he's trying to make a point too (and some money at the same time, if he can). It's no good for our Capitol to be swarmed and swamped in a gossipy sexual mire of paranoia, but that's just what Flynt is saying. "Relax, it's just sex," he said.

Amen. Quit screwing around (ahem), and get on with your jobs. Why the childish obsession with other people's personal lives? Livingston had just been appointed head of the Republican controlled House that impeached Clinton when Livingston's personal life ruined him. He must have been doing his job before his personal affairs were exposed, because he had just reached the pinnacle of his political career. Same with Clinton. Whether you like Slick Willy or not, President Clinton has done a pretty damn good job running this country. Maybe we should let him get on with it.

That's what Flynt is saying in dramatic fashion with his sexual bounty hunting. "People always lie about sex," he said, "to get sex, during sex, after sex, about sex."

"I totally disagree that perjury [in such a case] is perjury. Lying about your private life, even under oath, is totally different," Flynt said.

I agree with him on that, but not only on that. Our leaders are people in power who can screw up as easily as we can. We elect them, and then they can basically do whatever the hell they want. Maybe they need a little fear stricken into their hearts. Senator, next time you promote one of your secretaries for services rendered, beware.

Flynt is asking us to confront the facts about ourselves and our sexuality.

"The average age of a Congressman is 40-60," he says. "The average age of a Hustler subscriber is 40-60. Coincidence? I think not."

Now that we know that much, let's deal with it and get on with business.

junior. His commentary appears every Thursday