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PHILOSOPHY

Walk around campus, open your ears, and there's no question what time of year it is.

These are the last few days before Spring Break - the marvelous week in which professors are barred by law from droning their annoying lectures and forcing exams onto the student populace.

The air is filled with the chatter of excited students. It's like a seamless blur:

"My parents only gave me $800. How do they expect me to last eight days in San Carlos on that? It's so ridiculous. Oh well, at least my parents aren't trying to make me go ..."

" ... home, because I haven't seen my family since Christmas. Plus, I'm broke, and I miss my dog. I'll probably just spend my time watching old movies or something, like maybe 'Rocky' ... "

" ... Point is so high school. And it's dirty, too! We went there last year, and Tyler got arrested by a Mexican cop, and he had to give them $20 just to let him go. This year, Meaghan, Jenni and me are going to Cabo ... "

" ... -wling. That's the only moderately fun thing I have planned. My brother's lucky. He's going to Vegas, and he'll be staying on the strip ... "

" ... club. Think about it - that'll be the place to be, now that our girlfriends will be gone for a few days. The lap dances are cheap over there, the girls are hot, and I hear the one on the northeast side doesn't even ... "

" ... card. Hey, were you listening to me? I lost my CatCard again! And it sucks, because the travel agent needs to see a student ID so I can get the dis ... "

" ... -count 'em - five condoms. And I guarantee you that I'll put every single one to use, because we're going to Panama City - a place with so many ... "

" ... ho's, rakes and shovels. It's my mom's birthday, and I'm going home, so I figured I'd buy her a nice, new set of garden ... "

" ... tools. That's all who ever goes to Lake Havasu for Spring Break. It's just a stupid lake in the middle of the freaking desert. Trust me, all the best spots are further to the south ... "

" ... Padre Island. It's going to be nine of us in one room, but we don't plan on spending much time at the ... "

" ... bar. It's so cool that they let you drink when you're 18 in Mexico. I'm going to be all over the tequila shots. I'm going to drink so much that I end up on the floor ... "

" ... -ida. Now that I'm 21, I don't want to mess with all the stuff you have to deal with in Mexico. It's a well-known fact that all the hottest chicks go to Florida. There's so many beaches there, and maybe I'll get a chance to be on M ... "

" ... TV. I've been missing 'Days of Our Lives' for like three months now. And I'm so glad I'll get to catch up. I hear that Damien's evil twin married Barbara, so I have to see ... "

" ... -grams 7, a bag of Doritos and an N64. That's all I need for a good Spring Break."