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Commentary - Is nothing sacred?

The new century blows.

I was watching the NFL Draft Saturday when I saw Arizona running back Trung Canidate get drafted by the St. Louis Rams. As he stepped to the podium and put on his hat, I was shocked to see a new, strange logo.

That's right, the Rams have changed their uniforms. Gone is their trademark royal blue and yellow uniforms, instead the Super Bowl Champs are incorporating a navy blue and gold color scheme rife with slashes and modern-looking numbers. It was the first dramatic uniform change for the Rams in over 75 years.

Have you ever heard of a champion changing their gear just after winning a title? I guess the folks in St. Louis don't believe in karma.

The new colors, named "Millennium Blue" and "New Century Gold," give the Rams a color scheme that resembles an NFL-Europe ensemble.

Some think the new look of 21st century uniforms is "progress," while others (including myself) think they're pathetic.

However, one thing is for sure - teams everywhere are hoping to cash in on the new millennium by incorporating new, often hideous uniforms hoping to make a quick buck.

The Oakland Athletics currently are wearing black jerseys with green hats and in the NBA, the New Jersey Nets wear metallic silver uniforms on special occasions.

So I figured that as long as teams are looking for new ideas, I could give them some suggestions.

As long as the Rams are losing their trademark look, why not get the New York Yankees out of those pesky pinstripes?

Go with the style of New York City itself, I'm sure an interlocking "NY" would look great on a knit mask, similar to what NYC's numerous muggers wear.

Even with the new, face-concealing "hats," Yanks fans would still be able to pick Darryl Strawberry out of a crowd. The white powder around the nose area would easily give him away.

Out west in San Diego, the Padres (who wore camouflage uniforms last Thursday to honor the military) would blaze a trail if they had their uniforms done by Billabong.

The sight of Tony Gwynn wearing baggy board shorts and sandals would definitely be enough to sell out Qualcomm Stadium, not to mention bringing in hordes of surfing stoners to the ballpark.

In fact, the Atlanta Braves could adopt the Padres­ tradition of wearing "camo" uniforms. That way, John Rocker would have a fighting chance when he enters Shea Stadium on "battery day".

With accused murderer Ray Lewis as their middle linebacker, the Baltimore Ravens need to incorporate bright orange into their uniforms. That way, it will match Lewis' new "uniform," the bright-orange jumpsuit of the local penitentiary.

The new generation of uniforms, while aesthetically questionable, seem to be a financial success. A replica Rams jersey will cost fans up to $63.45 when ordering on-line.

Bad fashion isn't limited to surfers and muggers, however.

New Arizona football jerseys, which will go on sale just before the 2000 football season starts, will cost about 50 dollars.

That's an arm and a leg - Mr. Lewis.