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Neo-hippies Protest Against Hygiene

I went to the Bob Dylan/Phil Lesh show in San Diego this weekend because I love Bob Dylan and I love San Diego. I went backstage, and I loved that too, but now I'm only bragging. What I don't necessarily love, however, is what seems to be a staple Dylan fan - the neo-hippie.

That's what I like to call them anyway - I can't of anything better.

They certainly aren't hippies. The hippies are either dead or very, very old by now. You see they were alive in the 60s during a time when the majority of the youth in this country felt the world needed a change and believed what they were doing was going to bring about that change.

They honestly thought they would win. Then they realized they had taken too many drugs - and the Bee-Gee's were actually a pretty good band.

But the so-called hippies of today have none of that. The only belief they have is that they wish they were hippies, and luckily for them, their parents all seem to have enough money to support their little habits.

It isn't cheap to be a neo-hippie. The cost of food alone will put you in the poorhouse, just go to any all-natural store and find out for yourself - or a co-op for that matter. That's a bout of food poisoning waiting to happen if I've ever seen one.

You have to have an entire wardrobe of the special hippie uniform, too.

"But Zack," one may say, "hippies make their own clothes, so everything they wear is unique and beautiful just like the hippie who wears it!"

People wear their special clothes to make themselves look unique and special because they believe in the deepest parts of their hearts that without this precious little image they've created, maybe they're not that interesting.

If people don't try their hardest to prove to the world that they are unique, then they won't be.

That's all it is anymore - an image. Just like the greeks and their fondness for Abercrombie and Fitch and J. Crew, or these cute little raver kids with the pacifiers (the only part of their outfit I truly like, as long as they keep them in their mouths). They claim they dress that way because they want to be different, yet there are dozens of people dressed exactly like them.

If people really want to be different then they should try being themselves. Folks don't need to pick which group of people they like the best and then try their hardest to be just like them.

People should wear what's comfortable, eat what they want to eat, and for Christ's sake, bathe.

If people really need some help with this, they should keep listening to Bob Dylan until they really know what he's talking about. For instance, when he says, "everybody must get stoned," he's not taking about pot.

Really. He's not.

Check it out.