The real top 10 movies of the century
The American Film Institute has already released its list of the top 100 movies of the century, but most of these ancient movies - like "The Sound of Music" and "The African Queen" - suck.
Here are the real top 10 movies of the millennium:
10. Shaft (1971): "Shaft" rules. He's a black James Bond that's more fun to watch. He laid the groundwork for Samuel L. Jackson 20 years later. And now Jackson plans to star in a "Shaft" remake himself.
(From the theme song) "Shaft! He's a complicated man that no one understands except his women."
9. Reefer Madness (1936): This film was meant to be a government-endorsed dramatization to prevent kids from smoking pot. Obviously, it didn't work. But it's funny because it tries to be serious.
"Marijuana is extremely addictive and has been known to cause disobedience, bad grades and even insanity."
8. Go! (1999): This awesome, action-packed film never slows down from start to finish. I looked at my watch after the movie ended, just to make sure that more than five minutes had past.
"You slept with two girls in one night? Wow."
7. Billy Madison (1994): Adam Sandler is a comedic genius and this was his big-film debut. He's hilarious even when he doesn't speak, and when he does, it's just a bonus.
"I'm one of the good guys, penguin! The people at the zoo are gonna treat you real respectable-like."
6. Happy Gilmore (1996): Sandler got even better with this film. Fist-fighting Bob Barker on a golf course was one of the most shocking and funny scenes I've ever seen.
"The price is wrong, bitch!"
5. The Trilogy: Clerks (1994), Mallrats (1996), Chasing Amy (1997): These films go through the full spectrum of living in New Jersey in your early 20s. Jay and Silent Bob serve as a hilarious sideshow in all three.
"My grandmother always said: Why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free."
4. Fight Club (1999): If this movie were about fighting only, it would still be a decent movie. But there's more to it. And you thought Austin Powers had trouble with his "inner monologue."
"When you're an insomniac, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake."
3. Reservoir Dogs (1991): Quentin Tarantino's first and best effort. The actors in this movie work together well and the dialogue offers the best in smack-talking.
"If you keep talking like a bitch, I'm going to have to slap you like a bitch."
2. Rocky I-V (1976, 1978, 1982, 1985, 1990): Rocky beats up Mr. T and Hulk Hogan in the same movie. He goes to Russia on Christmas Day and beats the man who killed Apollo Creed. Pray for a "Rocky VI."
"When you're down and you ain't got nothin' left, I'll be like an angel on your shoulder - screaming 'Get up, you son of a bitch, cause Mickey loves ya!'"
1. Swingers (1995): This film transcends gender. For guys, it teaches the correct way to think and act. For women, it's a manual on how guys think. It's the best because it's so close to reality.
"She's just like a bunny and you're like a bear, man. A big bear. With these big claws and big teeth. But right now, you're not hurting it. You're just playing with it. Just batting it around. And she's scared, man. And here you are, saying 'I don't know what to do!' With these claws and these teeth, you don't know what to do?"