Happy tax day!
Now, I know you're thinking, "Someone take the paint thinner away from Tylor. April 15 is eight months away!" Listen and rejoice: Tax day is the only holiday you can observe all 365 days of the year, and there are no set agendas like with, say, Christmas (i.e. presents, guilt, alcoholism and ritual poultry sacrifice). Tax day is whatever you make of it!
But the best part of tax day is the feeling of altruism (comparative to that of how a carcass feels toward vultures) during the work day when you're cheerfully thinking, "Unkie Sam, you might largely ignore me if I'm lucky, but even so, I'm going to give you 40 percent of what I earn so you can fund hoop barns (whatever those are, but they do get our money) or pay for the maintenance of Jimmy Carter, which is probably pretty high since he's been shooting his mouth off so much lately. I know you'll use it to wipe your ever-expanding bureaucratic buttocks, but since you know what's best, I'll gladly pay ÷ so as not to end up fleeing IRS hounds through snake-laden areas." While some party poopers might refer to coerced working for another as "slavery," or taking money that doesn't belong to you as "theft," just remember, you elect these people, whether you want them lording over you or not, and that makes these things OK!