On the spot

By Nathan Tafoya
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Sophomore likes to wear heels that match her shirt, loves babies, and wants a lower voice

Wildcat: Hi, my name's Nathan and you're on the spot. It's 6:05 p.m. do you know where your parents are right now? What they're doing?

Kneuss: My mother probably just got back from work. She works with babies.

Wildcat: That's cool. I like babies.

Kneuss: My dad's sitting in front of the computer.

Wildcat: I like holding babies' hands.

Kneuss: You do? Aw, I like babies.

Wildcat: How come you're wearing high heels with jeans on a very cold day?

Kneuss: Because these are new, and I like them. And they match my shirt, which no one gets to see because it's a cold day. (Kneuss lifts her pullover to reveal a black shirt with colorful polka dots.)

Wildcat: That's a pretty shirt. I saw it. Thanks for showing me.

Kneuss: You're the only one.

Wildcat: Cool. You stood out today because you're wearing a very bright pink thing in your hair, and it's very dark and gloomy outside. And everyone is wearing dark clothes and I thought the pink little what is it?

Kneuss: It's a poodle, upside-down.

Wildcat: (examining) I think it's a teddy bear, upside-down.

Kneuss: Oh. Well, the yellow ones are supposed to be poodles.

Wildcat: Do you want to have babies someday?

Kneuss: Yes. Absolutely.

Wildcat: And then let your mom take care of them?

Kneuss: No, I want them. I love babies.

Wildcat: What's your worst experience?

Kneuss: 5-year-olds. They're assholes.

Wildcat: Oh, gosh. Why?

Kneuss: Because I'm little, like, I'm diminutive and I have the high voice and they don't listen to me and I have to stand on tables and shout. And they just look at you "I can take you."

Wildcat: Maybe you should chew tobacco and spit at them.

Kneuss: Awesome.

Wildcat: You can't make your voice low?

Kneuss: No, I'm just not commanding.

Wildcat: You should punch yourself in the stomach right before you talk because then it kind of scares them, but then you're out of breath and it makes your voice lower too.

Kneuss: I think they would take it as an opportunity to attack.