Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
See if these ideas are worth being grateful for
Coping with the cornucopia
Aside from the crazy uncle who giggles every time someone mentions "stuffing the turkey" (hey, we've all got one), there are few Thanksgiving moments so awkward as declining a plateful of food that is, well, less than appealing. For all the perfectly cooked turkeys and expertly prepared potatoes, there's always one family member who thought it'd be a good idea to show up with turnips, steamed Brussels sprouts or some fatal combination of the two. On any other day, it might be easy to swat away this cursed cuisine, but on the holiday of familial togetherness, being polite is just the cost of doing business. To this perennial source of family conflict, we say No Thanks.
Here's to holiday hostility
Sure it's Thanksgiving, but for many UA students, the holiday will take a back seat to the annual "duel in the desert." With the UA and Arizona State University football teams gearing up to square off on the gridiron on Friday, school rivalries have already flared. Last week, UA students added a little UA spirit to ASU's "A," hopefully setting the stage for another unprecedented upset against the shaky Sun Devils squad. For many Americans, Thanksgiving might be synonymous with football, but few have the luxury of the kind of simmering in-state rivalry that we've got here in the Grand Canyon state. For this athletic animus and all of the school spirit it engenders, we say Thanks.
You never beat the House
So, it's Thanksgiving, that magical time of the year reserved for slashing medical benefits for the poor while giving yourself a raise and voting for a two-week extension of your holiday vacation. Well, if you're the U.S. House of Representatives, that is. After a year that's seen mounting casualties in the Middle East and a rash of devastating hurricanes, one would think that our public officials would be in a more compassionate mood this holiday season, but instead, congressmen were rushing to tie up loose ends before heading off for the Thanksgiving break. To stick it to the needy may be business as usual for politicians in search of pork-barrel perks, but to do it just before the Thanksgiving weekend is more than a little mean hearted. Our nation needs leaders, and to this batch of buffoons we say No Thanks.
How Christmas stole Christmas
For anyone who heard Christmas tunes playing while shopping for Halloween candy, it's probably no exaggeration to say that these annoying jingles rob us all of a little holiday cheer. It might be nice to put on some carols while you're decorating the tree at home, but it's more than a little over the top to be hearing the tinny hymns piped through the Wal-Mart speakers in the middle of September. To those retailers that seem to be forsaking calendars for capital, we say No Thanks.
Opinions are determined by the Wildcat opinions board and written by one of its members. They are Lori Foley, Ryan Johnson, Damion LeeNatali, Aaron Mackey, Mike Morefield, Katie Paulson and Tim Runestad.