Perhaps the University of Arizona should get rid of all the professors on campus who are genuinely interested in undergraduate education and close all the departments.
Students would come to UA and take two years of general education courses taught by (President) Manuel T. Pacheco, (Provost) Paul Sypherd, (Social and Behavioral Sciences Dean) Holly Smith and other bureaucrats who have nothing better to do. Then they would transfer to a real university.
Professors not interested in undergraduate education would be retained to conduct research. They would concentrate on getting big grants so Pacheco could raise his salary.
More bureaucrats would be hired to replace those teaching classes, so that that there would be someone to float paper airplanes around the office and make important decisions.
Oh yes, there would still be men's basketball, football and baseball, but the girly sports would be cut.
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