Why put a bar in the Student Union when we could build, say, a casino? The profits would definitely be higher. The old Student Union and Administration building could be bulldozed, since the administration has decided to leave campus, and then a huge gambling hall could be built. In the spirit of Las Vegas, the UA could have slot machines, a strip club, organized crime, drugs, prostitution and alcohol all in a centralized location convenient for students.
Now I know you agree this is a great idea, but probably realize casinos are illegal in Arizona. But there is a loophole; if Pacheco sells the land to a local Indian tribe, the UA and the Indians can develop a beautiful relationship and build the casino. Most importantly, the casino would keep students on campus, close to their homes so they would not think of driving under the influence of alcohol. After all, our primary interest is to improve the well-being and safety for all students. We need a casino now.
Chemical Engineering Junior
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