How could we ever believe cartoons?

Before I get started with this week's topic, allow me to explain about last week's column. I had some people ask me if I got the idea of the "Foreplay" column from the women at La Paz. No! I did not get the idea from them, nor were they the reason for writing it. I simply mentioned them as a form of dedication. I know some ladies who live in the dorm, and it was just my way of saying, "Thank you for reading my column, I hope you enjoy it."

This week's column is solely for entertainment value. Since registration has begun, I figure we all need some type of stress reliever. So, here we go!!

I love a good cartoon, but what the hell is going on in some of them? Now that I'm older, the nature of the cartoon is more understandable now than when I was a kid. If you look at some of the cartoons we watched as kids, it may make you wonder how we fell for such B.S.

For instance, why did Fat Albert, weighing around 300-400 pounds, outrun the entire gang to the clubhouse when it was time to see the "Brown Hornet"? If you recall, their clubhouse was in a junkyard, right? So where the hell did they plug in the TV?!? Also, I don't recall any of them having a watch, so how did they figure out it was time for the "Brown Hornet"? They had a great band that could play well using stuff they had in the junkyard, but no one ever offered them a record deal.

Wile E. Coyote had a million dollar credit line from ACME. Why not order a deep dish sausage, mushroom, pepperoni and extra cheese pizza instead of a pair of skies, one ice maker, ropes, ski boots, poles, helmet, gloves and two turbo rockets? If he was a true genius, he would have caught the Roadrunner years ago!

Why didn't Snoopy play in the big leagues? I can't believe that no one ever noticed Charlie Brown's baseball team had a dog for a shortstop a great one at that! How many other shortstops do you know that can hit from either side of the plate, throw with either ear and catch line drives with their mouths? I think Snoopy had a batting average of .826, with 372 stolen bases, 400 walks and no strike-outs; look at his strike zone it's 2 feet high! Snoopy is the only dog to my recollection to have played baseball with fleas, ride a chopper across the country, play in the Beagle Cup (their version of the Stanley Cup), wrestle for the heavyweight title, shoot the rapids, write novels and shoot down the Red Baron flying his dog house yet the Browns made him sleep outside. He got no respect.

Why didn't the Voltron team just form the blazing sword from the beginning, slice the Robeast and go back to the castle and relax before the big game came on? Also, in that sense, how come the evil Princess Zartan didn't make 50 Robeasts and let them go wild all over Voltron? I don't think Voltron is kicking 50 Robeasts' ass on any given day.

What the hell was going on with Shaggy and Scooby? I am not an expert on marijuana, nor have I ever sampled its effects, but what I do know is that some of my friends have been "baked" on it and they always got the major munchies. If Shaggy and Scooby are constantly eating 12 foot subs, three feet high grinders, 30 double cheese supreme pizzas and still craving more, someone better check what is inside of a Scooby snack. Every time I watch that show, the huge sandwiches don't come out until they have had a "snack." What exactly are in those things?

Some of these cartoons you may not know of, but I think there may be a couple here that just about everyone can relate to. When you are with your friends this week, at least you'll have something humorous to talk about that is not related with school in any way. Just take some time out of your day to regress back to your childhood and find that one part of your life when the only thing we worried about was if there was enough milk for the sugar frosted sucrose cereal we just poured into our bowls.

Have a good week! Peace!

Eric T. Watkins is an industrial psychology senior. His column appears every Tuesday.

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