Prez-Elect has halitosis


After reading yesterday's column by the Pastrami Sandwich ("Sandwich spouts off"), I feel compelled to comment on the Driggs-Ham Sandwich situation. First, I devoured Mr. Ham in the spirit of cooperation and reconciliation. I had hoped that Mr. Ham would have applied to be on my cabinet, but after he failed to turn in an application, I felt the next best thing to do would be to include his ideas and caloric energy in my persona. I ate him so that we could work together for the betterment of the entire campus.

The triumphant belch, however, never happened. I reject belching and all that is associated with it. As for the three Wildcat reporters that were sent to UMC: what's so bad about a little simple chronic halitosis? Cut me some slack. Finally, I invite SUB, Sandwich United Brotherhood, to build bridges, not destroy them. Together we can construct a better future.

Benjamin Driggs

ASUA President Elect

Read Next Article