The Associated Press

NEW YORK • Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley are separating after nine years of marriage, CNN reported Wednesday.

The supermodel and her singer-songwriter husband sent a joint statement to Mitchell Fink, a People magazine columnist who contributes to CNN's "Show Biz Today" segment.

Further details were not immediately availability. Calls from The Associated Press to their representatives late Wednesday were not returned.

The couple has an 8-year-old daughter, Alexa Ray.

Brinkley, 40, survived a serious helicopter crash earlier this month, while "heliskiing" with friends near Telluride, Colo. Joel, 44, postponed a concert in Kansas City the next night to accompany his wife back to their Long Island oceanfront estate, outside New York City.

People magazine featured Brinkley on the cover of their April 18 edition. She said the April 1 accident gave her a deeper appreciation of her family.

"Maybe I'll have the patience to be a better mom," she told the magazine. "Maybe I will simplify my life, because at the moment everything is so sweet to me."

The couple wed March 23, 1985, on a yacht in New York harbor, among banks of white tulips and 175 guests. It was the second marriage for both.

Joel told The Associated Press in an interview eight months ago that his wife and daughter were his inspiration. "All About Soul," he said, was about the powerful, unspoken bond between husband and wife.

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WASHINGTON • If no one will research the benefits of chocolate cake, how will we ever know them? And if someone does the research but stodgy journals won't print it, who'll get the word out? Introducing the Journal of Irreproducible Results.

Marc Abrahams, the editor, brought his scientific slide show to the Library of Congress Wednesday to discuss his 40-year-old publication and the great advances in irreproducible science that it reports.

"About one-third is completely real, about one-third is totally concocted and about one-third of our readers can't tell the difference," Abrahams said of the material he publishes for scientists with a sense of humor.

He was also here to promote his new book, "Sex as a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble," a collection of articles from the journal.

Modern technology has greatly improved scientists' ability to measure things, Abrahams said. For example, a Hungarian researcher used a Doppler radar to measure a snail's pace.

"The really impressive thing is that people would spend the time to do these things," Abrahams reflected.

Michigan researchers wrote a paper with statistical proof that aging is contagious.

They measured the age of the general population, which is already infected, and found that, on average, every year everyone aged about one year, explained Abrahams.

Assuming that kindergartners were not yet infected, the researchers calculated the average age of kindergarten classes for three straight years and the average was 5 each year.

Their conclusion: "aging occurs as a consequence of a prolonged exposure to an adult environment." They were unable to decide whether the infectious agent was a virus or a bacterium.

"This is a statistical method often used in Washington," Abrahams added.

Chocolate cake • cakus chocolatus • figured in an experiment at Williams College in Massachusetts reported by the journal.

A sample of students was asked to eat cake, testing whether it had medical benefits. After a brief wait to allow the cake to act, the students reported their general well-being seemed improved.

A second group tested the benefits of the topical application of cake • holding a piece under their armpits for 60 seconds. "None of these reported the same beneficial effects that those who had taken the cakus orally had reported."

Visiting Washington from his Cambridge, Mass., office, Abrahams hay have been in the home of "administratium," which the journal has identified as the heaviest known element.

"Administratium" has no electrons or protons, but has one neutron, 75 associate neutrons, 125 deputy associate neutrons and 11 assistant deputy associate neutrons.

While the element is inert "it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it takes part." Administratium has a half-life of three years after which it does not decay, but rather has a reorganization.

Scientists love numbers, so it wasn't surprising that a paper in the journal considered the number "pi." Pi is the ratio of a circle's outside edge to its cross section, and consists of an infinite string of numbers beginning 3.14159265... .

Scientists in New Zealand asked a computer to analyze the first 100,000 digits of pi for any correspondence to the works of Shakespeare.

"To our surprise, the computer very rapidly located many familiar fragments of the Bard's writings; specifically, the page numbers."

Another journal article urged new warning labels on consumer products to accurately reflect today's knowledge of physics:

For example:

WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.

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NEW YORK • Comedian Judy Tenuta, the flamboyant, accordion-playing "love goddess," said her new comedy album's title is raising stress levels at radio stations.

"I think it's a really sweet title: 'Attention Butt-Pirates and Lesbetarians!' How much more sweet can you get?" she said Wednesday.

Tenuta recorded the album at the Gay and Lesbian Festival in Los Angeles. "I'm their spokesmodel, their love goddess," she said.

The upshot is that interviewers are happy to talk to her about the album when she stops for chats at radio stations, "but then they'll say, 'I don't know if you should say the title on the air.'

"I go, 'Excuse me, squid! It's NOT one of the seven dirty words!' ... It's so typical! I don't get it. They can have naked women exploding on MTV and I can't say, 'Attention Butt-Pirates and Lesbetarians.' "

{Judy Tenuta will be performing tomorrow and Saturday nights in Tucson at the Laffs Comedy Club. Tickets are $15 and call 32-FUNNY (323-8669) for more info.

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NEW YORK • The setting: a park behind the library. The clothes: anything but quiet. The audience: Ditto. The designer: Donna Karan.

On Wednesday, the final evening of fall Fashion Week, Karan roused the audience to thundering applause after she sent out a handful of 40- and 50-something models. In their sexy tight knee-length skirts and black sheer stretch bodysuits showcasing underwire bras, the group • including Isabella Rossellini, Veruschka, Rosie Vela, Patti Hansen, and Beverly Johnson • was destined to create a stir.

Earlier in the day, quiet reigned with Calvin Klein and Ellen Tracy. Klein, the typical minimalist, got down to basics with no-fuss silhouettes such as empire dresses, cashmere cardigans and long swingy skirts.

The Ellen Tracy show put a classic spin on fall trends including plaids, shearling and military styles, all in autumn-leaf hues.

But fashion shows don't necessarily thrive on understatement. Tuesday night, Isaac Mizrahi flaunted his showmanship with a palette of "bubble gum pink," "Pez pink" and "lemon drop," which spiffed up puffy down jackets outrageously teamed with ball skirts. The presentation rivaled a Hollywood production.

Apropos Tinseltown, Francis Ford Coppola, Vanessa Williams, Shakira Caine, Lorraine Bracchio and Bernadette Peters showed up to glimpse Donna Karan's opening.

Karan's favored styles look boudoir-bound and gave her a chance to parade select bras from her line of intimate apparel. Underwear as outerwear was the name of the game. Besides the sexy black bustier dresses and cashmere and satin skirt-slips, "Butterfield 8" charmeuse slip-dresses were ready for a night on the town with black wool reefer jackets and leather motorcycle jackets.

At Calvin Klein, the powerful front row phalanx included Dolly Parton, Mariah Carey and Sophia Coppola. Read Next Article