By Doug Levy
Arizona Daily Wildcat
January 14, 1998

What 'The Dog' left behind

Photo courtesy of New Line Cinema Arizona Daily Wildcat (From left) Dustin Hoffman, Anne Heche and Robert DeNiro in "Wag The Dog."

The truth is out there, as any "X-Files" fan will tell you, but there are lots of people who will do their damnedest to make sure you won't ever find out what it is.

Government people, mostly.

This is the most firmly held belief of conspiracy theorists everywhere, people who should be delighted with the premise of "Wag The Dog."

Unfortunately, beyond the premise, there's very little to be delighted about. Here's the basic rundown.

The setup: Just a couple of weeks before the presidential elections, scandal rocks the White House. The president (whose face we conveniently never see in the film, leaving his identity up to the viewer) has been accused of sexual misconduct with a Firefly Girl, the equivalent of a Girl Scout, in the Oval Office. In other words, a big ratings snafu.

The president's staff has to find a way to play down the scandal before it destroys his chances for re-election.

The solution: Conrad Brean (Robert DeNiro), a government spin doctor and Fox Mulder's worst nightmare. This is the man who decides what the "truth" will be.

"That's him," whispers one of the president's staff as he approaches. "That's Mr. Fix-It."

Brean's plan: Create a war. Enter Stanley Motss (silent "t"), played by Dustin Hoffman. Motss is a Hollywood producer who is hired to make the "war" a reality - a reality that is entirely fictional. Bringing on board a staff of artists and industry people, Motss proceeds to film fake news segments, create patriotic anthems and inspire national trends. The American people are played like fiddles.

Sounds good so far, right? After all, DeNiro and Hoffman alone should make it at least a decent film. The thing is, you can only do so much with a bad script. This one comes courtesy of award-winning writer David Mamet, surprisingly enough. The film is based on a book called American Hero, but not having read it, it's difficult to know exactly where to lay the blame.

The characters in "Wag The Dog" have absolutely no depth to them; even the main players come off as little more than caricatures. Not only that, they're disagreeable caricatures. Conrad Brean is a boring, insensitive man, who has the implausible ability to make anyone agree with him, including the honest CIA agents who call him on his plan. He doesn't care about anything except for getting his job done, manipulating anyone he needs to in true Machiavellian fashion. Just because he has DeNiro's face doesn't make him endearing.

Motss, the Hollywood producer, is unbelievably annoying. It's interesting that Hoffman also worked with director Barry Levinson on "Rain Man." He plays his character here in a similar fashion, repeating certain phrases over and over again, refusing to shut up.

That made old Raymond delightfully lovable because of the innocence of the character, as opposed to the overwhelming ego of Hoffman's Motss. Every time the crew runs into a snag, he drones, "This? This is nothing!" and then launches into one of his intolerable Hollywood anecdotes.

Winifred Ames (Anne Heche), the presidential aide, is just pathetic. She follows everyone else's lead, breaking down like a fool when the shit hits the fan. She is in a position of authority, but has no idea how to handle it. Her lack of any kind of assertive personality makes her the third in this trio of unsympathetic characters.

The rest of the talent, for the most part, is wasted. Woody Harrelson plays a federal prisoner who does little more than say, "Tonight we're having beans," while drooling at the thought. Willie Nelson gets to complain, "I was gonna go get drunk," when he's asked to write a song. Denis Leary, as the Fad King, gets nowhere near enough screen time.

The holes in the plot are too numerous to go into, but the most glaring one is this: Why would these people stoop to murder just to stop one person from revealing their plans when so many civilian people are involved that it's impossible to keep tabs on all of them?

"Wag The Dog" really could have been a great film. The premise is a great one, and so, potentially, is the cast. It's just everything else that needs to change. When Hoffman constantly utters, "This is nothing!" you can't help but realize eventually that he's right. It is nothing. But it could have been something.