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Tuesday November 7, 2000

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Put up or shut up

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By Nick Zeckets

Tuesday, Nov. 7. Today. Americans celebrate and denounce this day all in one breath. Losers will hang their heads and winners will run about like asses over a win they barely understand. One regime will be ushered out during a brisk winter day as a new leader is granted the nation's most prestigious political post. Amidst all this activity and conjecture, though, one thing remains: everyone needs to vote.

Federal power is derived specifically from one event: the presidential election. Millions of Americans will pull a lever or punch a card, placing their confidence in one man to lead this greatest of superpowers forward for four more years. This year, Al Gore and George W. Bush Jr. lead the battle that one observer called "100 times the Superbowl," because the outcome affects every single American.

Indeed, the outcome of today's fight will take this country in a new direction. Whether either will lead the US down a good or bad path no one can definitely say, but there will be a theme. Liberal vs. conservative, social programs vs. a bolstered economy, a progressive Supreme Court vs. classic jurisprudence. All these battles rage as components of an even greater war. How does one decide to abstain from such a decision?

For many students at the UA, this will be the first election in which they are enfranchised. Entering the booth will take courage, composure and maturity. Do not let those demands deter any of you from participating. Take pride in being an American, in being of legal majority.

Voting privileges are taken for granted in the US. Australians are fined if they do not show up at the polls. Worse yet, billions of people across the world have absolutely no say in how their lives are run. Despots oppress and abuse those whom they rule while living in the lap of luxury. America blesses its citizens in allowing them to influence who that leader will be. Staying away from the voting booths is not only lazy, but selfish.

Freedom is so rare in this world that when too much of it is granted to people, they decide not to use it to its fullest extent. Shame! Shame on you who don't feel they have a voice. Shame on those who don't care about their amazing nation. Moreover, shame on those who don't vote and then complain about government practices. When you don't vote, you give up your bitching rights. Thus, two rights are squandered: voting and bitching.

How is it that millions of Americans feel it fine to sleep in on the Tuesday after the first Monday in November and then whine like lame ferrets over presidential initiatives? "Oh, that President So-and-So is such a jackass." "If I were President..." Screw that. Vote for the SOB.

Apologies go out to all those who feel the election is a Catch-22 or decision between the lesser of two evils. Still, one candidate falls closer to you on the political spectrum. Vote for that guy. If his opponent were to win, you'd be even more pissed and where the hell is that going to get you?

No one has an excuse. If you're leg is broken, get a ride. If you can't read, then this won't make any sense, but look at the little donkey or elephant. Broken hands? Someone can pull the lever for you. No ride? Tada, there is a shuttle taking students with their CatCards from the fountain at Old Main to any area precinct to vote.

Those who don't "get around to voting" should be considered worthless. Vile are those vagrants who would rather play Nintendo or simply kick back on maybe the most important day in four years. We have school off next Monday, Thanksgiving is close and Christmas break knocking at the door. You can rest then. As for today, vote. Vote, damn it!

If you don't get out, here are the rules: one, you can never ever bitch about anything politically related. Two, if that you do bitch about the aforementioned, you will be slapped. Finally, three, you are worthless. Vote, it will have an impact.