The savior returns
By
Ryan Finley
Michael Jordan reminds me of another famous wizard - the Wizard of Oz.
We all know the story about the Wizard ("here he is, a wiz of a wiz, if ever a wiz there was·") and his power. For generations, he hid behind smoke, intimidation and braggadocio. But, in the end, he revealed himself as a man - a mortal, little person who was as scared as the rest of us.
When Michael Jordan announces today that he will return to the NBA as a member of the Washington Wizards, he will embark on the biggest challenge of his pro career.
Jordan, arguably the greatest athlete - not just basketball player, mind you - to ever play a professional sport, will try to replicate his previous success with 38-year-old legs, a nagging knee and a whole lot of heart.
Simply, he'll be mortal for the first time in his life. No more smoke. No more intimidation. The curtain will rise and he will come out, a 38-year-old man playing for the veterans' minimum.
And for that reason alone, he will be my favorite player.
Mr. MVP will be just another Joe Lunchpail, trying to compete with the superb - Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant come to mind - as well as the average.
For the first time in his life, Jordan needs to get a little crafty on both ends of the ball. He will likely struggle and will probably be driven crazy by everyone from Grant Hill to Rodney Rogers.
He will be great for the NBA too. Who are our heroes in the NBA right now? Kobe Bryant, the guy who left the Lakers' locker room because he didn't get the Most Valuable Player Award? Allen Iverson, the guy who cannot stop putting his foot in his mouth? Rasheed Wallace, who cannot stay in a game long enough to lead the Trail Blazers to a playoff win?
Jordan will be great for fans. How many fans stopped showing up to games following the 1999 lockout? A whole lot. Why? Because they knew they had seen the best - Jordan - at the prime of his career and could not stomach a game without him.
He will be great for the Wizards franchise. I went to a Washington game a year ago, during the first week of the regular season, and had no problem getting loge-level seats just hours before game time. I would say there were maybe 6,000 people there. Could I do that this year? Hell no.
Jordan has taken a team without an identity and slapped a face on it. He will give it instant name recognition and lightning-quick credibility. He will take the entire D.C. area - easily one of the best sports cities in America - on a wild ride throughout the season. And, who knows? They might win a game here or there.
Anyone who wishes ill on this national icon should be shot. I can understand not liking MJ when he was around, - I hated him and his last-second heroics then, like I hate the Yankees now - but why root against an old man trying to recapture the magic that gave him a hand's worth of championship rings, all while bringing a little respectability back to a league of thugs?
I guess some people want him to be happy with his millions and fade away like so many other great athletes have. Too bad.
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Ryan Finley vs. Connor Doyle
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Boo that man!
By
Conner Doyle
I wish Michael Jordan would just go away. He's a pain in the ass. The last time he was on the court, in the final game of the 1998 NBA Finals, he made a play many basketball experts say was the epitome of his playing career, and they were right. He was able to steal the ball away from Karl Malone because Scottie Pippen had played defense for him the entire game before, he pushed off Bryon Russel and didn't get charged with a foul and hit a mid-range jumper that just about anyone else in the NBA could make.
There was quite a bit of debate circulating at the time over which Bull should win the MVP - Pippen or Jordan. Anybody who watched the playoffs realized that it should have been Pippen, but sentiment ruled the day, and they decided to hand the trophy to Michael as a little "going away" present. And I was fine with that, because it meant that Jordan was actually "going away."
I was tired of David Aldrich constantly jocking him, I was tired of Ahmad Rashad constantly jocking him and I was tired of my best friend Peter constantly jocking him. Nothing made me happier than seeing Jordan walk away, because it meant that finally, after all these years, those three aforementioned people would have to jock someone else.
I was wrong. Aldrich never stopped. Neither did Rashad. My best friend Peter still has posters of the guy on his wall and still mocks a tear when his name is mentioned. God, I pick really bad friends.
Now, because everybody still obsesses over him, and because he's got an ego the size of Charles Barkley, Jordan is coming back. We'll have to put up with all the reruns of his "greatest moments" for the next two weeks. We'll have to sit through the first five minutes of SportsCenter every night, hearing about how he's on a liquid diet because he can't fit into his compression shorts. Most of all, we'll have to listen to everyone remind us that he's the greatest player of all time - everyone in this case includes Jordan himself.
Through all of this, however, I find myself looking forward to his comeback in a perverse way. Want to know why? The same reason we all love Jerry Springer - nothing's more fun than seeing people get beat-up on. And that's exactly what's going to happen when he steps back on the court.
I'm convinced the only reason Jordan wants to come back is because he sees Tiger Woods dominate the airwaves, and remembers when that used to be him. Sure, Tiger plays a different sport, but it doesn't matter. Jordan played baseball because he wanted more attention. He came back the first time because he wanted more attention. He announced he was retiring early - the second time - because he wanted more attention. He took the job as the president of the Wizards because he wanted more attention. Now, he's coming back because...you get the point.
Jordan's like a 5-year-old who didn't get the toy he wanted for Christmas, even though his parents spoiled him rotten all the time. There's a bunch of people stealing his spotlight, and it bugs him like crazy. I would say that Jordan won't stop trying to steal the spotlight until he dies - the man would probably fake his own death if it meant getting the most attention.
In the words of Bob Saget in "Half Baked," "Boo that man!"
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