My past few days have gone something like this:
(Between bites of Turkey) "Hahahahahahaha! Ryan Leaf sucks!"
(Between bites of leftovers) "Hahahahahahaha! Nebraska sucks!"
(Between Alka-Seltzers) "Hahahahhaha! "Oklahoma," · well, you get the picture.
This weekend was a testament to why I love football so damn much. Arizona killed Arizona State, and some of the nation's most detestable teams (and I mean you, Dallas Cowboys!) lost.
No teams were more embarrassed than some of college football's most-hyped programs.
All Nebraska had to do was not suck against Colorado on Friday and the Huskers would have been national champions, quarterback Eric Crouch would have been the Heisman Trophy winner, and Cornholes (isn't that what you call Nebraska fans?) from Lincoln to Omaha to - well, I can't name another city in Nebraska - would have been running around, their rubber maize hats flopping in the prairie winds.
All that stood in the way was Colorado, a team that was ranked but not particularly intimidating. The Buffaloes - a team that had struggled to beat hapless Missouri just a few weeks earlier - pounded the Huskers in a dominant 62-36 win. Honestly, CU could have scored 100, but they seemed so in awe of themselves (a Mark McGwire phrase) that they decided to start celebrating a quarter early.
Instead, the Huskers will likely take a trip to the Holiday Bowl in San Diego, where they'll munch fish tacos, play with Shamu and wonder what might have been.
Nebraska's loss meant that all Oklahoma had to do was not suck against in-state rival Oklahoma State Saturday and the Sooners would have waltzed to the Big XII Championship Game. But noooooo, the Sooners managed to fold against the Cowboys, who managed to throw a last-minute touchdown pass to give them - brace yourselves! - one whole conference win this season. How does that Insight.com Bowl bid sound, Sooners?
And, finally, poor, poor Notre Dame. All they had to do was show up in the fourth quarter against Stanford and the Fighting Irish would have saved their coach's job and ended the season with a touch of respectability. But they choked, like they always do, and coach Bob Davie is probably already cleaning out his office. I love this game·
· My Heisman vote (if they gave the Arizona Daily Wildcat one, which they don't) goes to Brigham Young quarterback Brandon Doman, who has the Stormin' Mormons on the brink of BCS greatness. The senior has completed 221 of 346 passes for 2926 yards this season, and has thrown 26 touchdowns and just five interceptions en route to a quarterback rating of 156.
Not bad, considering Miami's Ken Dorsey and Florida's Rex Grossman have ratings of 151 and 176, respectively.
What's sad is that, despite his ratings, stats and undefeated record, Doman doesn't stand a snowball's chance in Yuma of getting 10 votes because of a number of factors, not the least of which being that the East Coast media and Southeast Conference snobs would rather make out with Lee Corso himself than allow a kid from the Mountain West Conference to win anything. ·
· If the Detroit Lions coaches don't start Mike McMahon at quarterback Sunday, they're idiots. They're going to lose every game anyway. Why not be exciting and terrible?·
· The highlight of my week had to be seeing the Denver Broncos sporting the old-school "Orange Crush" uniforms when they beat the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day. Those toxic orange jerseys with the super-blue helmets are a perfect example of ugly being cool again, not unlike the Seattle SuperSonics' "new" old uniforms and the New York Jets' Joe Namath-era gear. I love 'em all, but then again, I own a brown-and-mustard San Diego Padres hat. Let's leave it at that·
· I saw that about half of the upper-deck seats were empty Friday at Sun Devil Stadium. I guess Pizza Hut wasn't ready to give ASU alumni the day off·
· By the way, it was nice to see the Sun Devils get a taste of their own medicine Friday. Now, numerous stories are circulating about UA players dancing and celebrating on the field after the Wildcats' win, but nothing could be worse than what the Devils did in Arizona Stadium last year. They spat, cursed at, and taunted the UA faithful following the game, running a handful of fans out of the game. They deserved whatever they got·
