Wednesday August 29, 2001 |

So, I have this confession to make. I've been reading the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, and I love it. Love it. I'm halfway through the third book, and I can hardly put it down. I had no idea that a story full of elves and wizards could hold my attention so solidly.

For those of you who are not familiar with these works, they are all about this little Hobbit - a halfling, half a man in size "but not in stature" - who is the sole bearer and protector of a terribly powerful ring. It's a silly little ring, but it has so much power. This Hobbit is protecting the ring from a far greater power than himself named Sauron who, if he got a hold of it, would become even more powerful and eventually rule their entire world in a dark and evil way.

Now, I know what you're thinking. That is, aside from the belief that this guy is a big nerdy tool and he'll be playing Dungeons and Dragons in no time, you're thinking: You just jumped on the movie-buzz bandwagon, Zack. The only reason you're interested in these books is because Hollywood made them into soon-to-be-released movies, which tells you they're worthwhile. You're such a chump. Chump!

But seriously you guys· I've been meaning to read them for some time now. And you don't have to be so harsh. I wouldn't call my worst enemy a chump. Geez.

Really though, I've always wanted to read them, and this summer, I was finally inspired to do so. You see, I met this girl who was really cool and spoke highly of them, so I figured that if she was cool, then they would probably be cool too - so I decided to read them. Really. That's how it happened. I swear. Still don't believe me? Fine, I'll elaborate.

Her name was Yfat, and I met her at a winery I visited in Germany. She became quite giggly and chatty by the end of her first glass, and we quickly got to talking. I found out that she was from Israel, "the country with all the noise where no one ever says anything," she repeated again and again. She added it every time she said Israel, like it was its full and proper name.

She was studying in Germany for a month to learn the language - a fact that I found interesting. I had never met a Jewish person who studied German, while I have met several who have vowed never to set foot in the country. It turned out that her father was German and spoke German, and she very much wanted to speak to him in his native language. That's much better than my reason. I just want to ask them how they get their beer to taste so much better than ours.

After uncovering her father's homeland, I asked about her mother's.

"Iraq," she said.

"What?" I said. I couldn't hear her, though she seemed to think that my question was a cry of alarm or disgust or both.

"Iraq," she said again. "You know· like Saddam Hussein. Germany, Hitler. Iraq, Saddam Hussein. My parents come from troubled places, and now we live in Israel."

I couldn't tell if she was upset or not. I thought it best not to risk it and decided to change the topic to something a little lighter. Clowns were the first thing that came to mind, as usual, but I did it real smooth-like, so as not to look too obvious. It was something like: "So· clowns are funny."

Clowns led to circuses, and circuses led to midgets, which, all too naturally, led to Hobbits - and the rest you can figure out for yourselves.

So, it wasn't the Hollywood buzz at all, but a girl from Israel (the country with all the noise where no one ever says anything) who got me to read those books. She is home by now, under the protection of the powerful Israeli government and military that is still waging war on Palestine, a country with less than half of the power. She is still hearing nothing but noise and waiting, like everyone else, to see who will win the prize, to see who will take home the ring, the silly little ring.