Jessica Kirkland pre-business freshman

Pre-business freshman fond of Chinese food, but not wrestling or fat guys wearing thongs

WILDCAT: So what are you doing here on this park bench right now?

KIRKLAND: Waiting for my boyfriend to eat.

WILDCAT: What?! You are waiting for him to eat?

KIRKLAND: He's coming down here and we're going to eat.

WILDCAT: Oh, I see. I thought that he was eating and you were sitting here all by yourself waiting for him to finish. I was like, that's kind of rude. So, what's your favorite kind of food?

KIRKLAND: Chinese.

WILDCAT: Any kind of Chinese?

KIRKLAND: Yeah, pretty much.

WILDCAT: If you had to eat five pounds of any Chinese dish, what would it be?

KIRKLAND: Sweet and sour chicken.

WILDCAT: Yuck. Have you ever sumo wrestled?

KIRKLAND: No.

WILDCAT: What do you think about it?

KIRKLAND: Uh· I wouldn't do it.

WILDCAT: What do you think about those guys in thongs?

KIRKLAND: They're fat.

WILDCAT: You don't find them attractive in any way? You know, sometimes baby fat is cute.

KIRKLAND: No, not at all.

WILDCAT: You'd think they would put on a little more. Maybe be a little more modest.

KIRKLAND: I know.

WILDCAT: So, I am all about tootsie pops right now. Do you think the owl on the commercial is really as smart as they make him out to be?

KIRKLAND: No, he's a cartoon.

WILDCAT: No way?! The commercials are a little outdated, don't you think?

KIRKLAND: Yeah. It's not like they don't have the money to buy new ones.

WILDCAT: Very true. So, Jessica, what's the most random thing you've ever done?

KIRKLAND: You're setting me up, I can't think on the spot.

WILDCAT: That's the name of this column, you just said it. Yeah, but don't think you're gonna win a prize or anything.

KIRKLAND: I don't know what the most random thing I have done is.

WILDCAT: Oh, come on Jessica, your parents aren't gonna read this. Actually, I don't know if anyone reads this.

KIRKLAND: I never have.