Malichi Rabin Park Student Union patron

PSU fan dislikes ÎTwinkle, Twinkle' and thinks that Terry Bradshaw sucks

Rabin: Boo ya! You've just been boo yaa-d!

Wildcat: Well, I'm Claire from the Daily Wildcat and you've just been on the spotted.

Rabin: Good. My name's Malichi, the black Jew.

Wildcat: I noticed by your shirt (reading "Terry Bradshaw Sucks") that you hate Terry Bradshaw. Why is that?

Rabin: Terry Bradshaw sucks for many reasons. But for the most part, it's that I had just eaten this half-pan of brownies ÷ not that I'm gonna say what was in those brownies ÷ and we were watching Jay Leno. And Terry Bradshaw comes on, and he was all talking about how cool his clothes were. And he said he was all cool, and then he topped it off by saying he could sing. But he got up there and he was all off key and shit, and he looked like Hulk Hogan on crack.

Wildcat: Well, why don't you try to sing for me? How about a little rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"?

Rabin: Man, I don't like "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Wildcat: Then why don't you pick one · your choice.

(Rabin proceeds to sing "Last Caress" by the Misfits.)

Wildcat: Are you drunk?

Rabin: No, that's just the way I act. Everybody thinks I'm always drunk.

Wildcat: Do you act a little bit better when you're drunk?

Rabin: Mmm · I hardly ever drink. But when I do, you don't want to see me.

Wildcat: So how do you act when you're drunk?

Rabin: Oh man, pretty wild. This one time this guy named · uhh · Mordecai was hanging out in front of Coronado and this cab pulled up. And he was like, "Oh my God!" And he jumped on the cab, and the cab was like, "Hey, don't do that!" And I was like · I mean he was like, "OK," and then I jumped on the cab again. And then the cops showed up, and they were like, "Hey! Which one of you jumped on the cab?" and Mordecai was like, "Umm · I saw him and he went that way. And he was black, wearing red sunglasses and a purple yarmulke.

Wildcat: Well, that describes you. So I'm guessing it was you?

Rabin: Hey, are you gonna print these names and check this stuff out? ÎCause I have warrants.