Stoops' incentives demonstrate priorities

The financial incentives for new head football coach Mike Stoops are certainly interesting.

He can earn an extra $150,000 for leading the team to a national championship game, but only $25,000 if the team has a high graduation rate. It is nice to see the university so clearly displaying its priorities.

Drew Milsom
physics lecturer

Robin Hood liberating UA students' goods

Fellow UA students, in such a day of job market turmoil, record national deficits and rising tuition costs, it is my pleasure to inform that there is a purveyor of justice patrolling our fair campus. The evidence, you ask? Merely perusing the Daily Wildcat's own "Police Beat" column. A snippet for those skeptics among us:

In the Oct. 3 edition it was reported that $1,200 of electronics vanished from a student's backpack, including a $650 PDA (no doubt an essential piece of equipment for collegiate success). On Oct. 13, $1,200 of stereo equipment - a $600 car stereo and a $600 amplifier - were pinched from a student's F-150 truck (for life is worthless without ever-present thundering bass while hauling hay bales in your vehicle of necessary utility). Oct. 22: S student discovered her 12 credit cards had walked away from her motor vehicle (perhaps she still has the free t-shirts and some remnants of a credit rating). Nov. 18 gives us double the pleasure, double the fun with a student's wallet (and the $300 in cash within) going missing from his modest BMW 325i, and another student unknowingly playing secret-Santa with his $900 bicycle parked in front of the Student Union. And most recently, Nov. 24 saw some less-than-starving college student's load lightened when her $700 purse transferred ownership (that's more than my monthly rent and utilities expenditures -- but I'll wager my abode has more square feet). How could one possibly be opposed to such unadulterated manifestations of greed, vanity and material excess being snapped up by our hero for the greater good? Just think of all the local panhandlers such wealth could feed, clothe or inebriate.

Dear mysterious sir or madam, I doff my cap at your noble mission of pilfering from those among us who live in the "genuine leather"-clad lap of luxury, and redistributing their riches to the poor and needy. Well, one outta two ain't bad.

Kevin Fisher
Electrical and computer engineering graduate student

Bad situation provides learning experience

I graduated with a bachelor's degree from the fine arts department in May of 2002. My senior year, I had an experience just like the women in the modeling story. There was an ad that requested an actor. I responded and spoke to the man or "director" about this production that he wanted to take place. He said he was going to send over one of his "actors" in the movie to pose naked while my friends and I portrayed the characters of "painters." The man and I chatted for a while about this scene my friends and I needed to rehearse for. He said the finale of the scene would be for us, the painters, to ask the man to take off all of his clothes and masturbate for all of us. He said he would pay me $200 and each of my friends $100. Stupidly, I agreed to do this, and was able to get seven of my friends involved. When it came closer to the time the man was supposed to arrive, I asked myself, "What did I get myself and friends into?" When the man came over, all of us were very nervous and scared. We thought that maybe if we got drunk enough before we wouldn't notice the naked man and could easily ask him to play with himself. We pretty much hoped for a good-looking guy who would make this easy for all of us. No such luck. The man was in his late 40's and acted very strange. I tried to ask the man questions about his life to make the situation less bad, while he took off his clothes. As he spoke I started to realize that it was the same voice as the "director" I spoke to on the phone. As soon as I realized this, I asked him to put his clothes on and to leave. He had a surprised look on his face. He was expecting for all of us to watch him masturbate. Eventually, he put his clothes back on and left. We called the police and each told him our story. This was an experience that I definitely learned from. I made a very stupid decision and put my friends in a very bad position. I'm glad that we all left the situation in one full piece.

Brooke Reutter
UA alumna

Gate Keepers music highlight of lunchtime

As I strolled out of my office to catch a bit of sun, find a seat by the Mall and eat my bagel with hummus, I was pleasantly surprised. A trumpet and saxophone pierced the air and finely tuned voices accompanied them while a drummer kept the beat. I settled down to eat my lunch, and spent the next 30 minutes thoroughly enjoying the music put together by the Gate Keepers.

Their high-caliber musical talent, combined with their choice of songs, provided a calm in the midst of class and exam preparation and all the stress that comes at this time of year. Their songs reminded me of the hope the human race has in the birth of Jesus 2003 years ago. His message is love and His gospel is peace, despite the twistings and misrepresentations that have corrupted His intent. Thank you for the freedom of speech we have on this campus and for a message of joy at a stressful time!

Nancy Rogers
nutritional sciences lecturer