This week's winners ... and losers

A bomb - Shelling out nearly 40 grand for a student meningitis registry. The disease is on the decline nationwide, Campus Health already gives out tons of info, and we haven't had a case of it since the Lewinsky era. If it ain't broke.

The bomb - Chris Nallen. The Jersey boy broke the PING-Arizona Intercollegiate individual record by five strokes Tuesday, leading the UA men's squad to its own event record and its fifth win in the last year. He even restrained himself from jumping into the Arizona National Country Club fountain in celebration.

A bomb - The Graduate and Professional Student Council's request for a refund. How can you whine to the Arizona Students' Association about not having a graduate student lobbyist when no one applied? What's more, it's a measly buck.

The bomb - The Massachusetts Supreme Court. It's about time a state wised up and realized civil unions just aren't enough. Hey, we're all human, we all fall in love, and in the words of Christina Aguilera, "Nobody wants to be lonely." Besides, why should we deny anyone the joy of picking out china patterns?

The bomb - The mice who subject their teensy bodies to menopause. Though their male counterparts are no doubt up in arms, the females should rejoice in knowing their efforts may help women everywhere. Research like the UA's may just save the ladies from years of emotional chaos.

A bomb - Janet Jackson. Just what is "wardrobe malfunction"? A euphemism for "distasteful display of middle-aged nudity," that's what. She and Justin should be ousted from the Grammy fanfare for such lack of tact. In fact, the only thing that rivals such poor judgment is the media's obsession with it (ourselves included).

The bomb - Students who voted Tuesday. You had to do research, register as a Democrat, find a polling site or request a mail-in ballot. ... In short, your vote took a hearty helping of thought, initiative and time - things many of us don't have. Bush devotees, diehard Dems and rabid nonpartisans alike should congratulate all you voters for actually voting.

Opinions are determined by the Wildcat opinions board and written by one of its members. They are Shane Dale, Caitlin Hall, Saul Loeb, Jason Poreda, Justin St. Germain and Eliza Tebo.