Who's your Papa?

With an overbooking of the residence halls, incoming freshmen were given little to cheer about until they learned of the latest meal plan development: Papa John's, the brainchild of that guy who is so conspicuously un-Italian, had been christened the official pizza pusher for the UA. For this, Papa John's gets a Pass, if only because the alternatives were somewhat unsavory (Domino's knew that its pizza tasted like it was 14 years old, and the owner of Picurro's, according to police, would have been better off if he knew a 14-year-old girl when he saw one).

Coronado a grade-A party dorm

Every UA residence hall has the potential to burst into spontaneous festivities, none more so than Coronado Residence Hall, which was featured on our front page as the resident "party dorm." Although the legitimacy of some claims are questionable (it seems unlikely that there are actual rankings that follow the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in dorms), hardly a UA student doesn't know a friend of a friend who had the best night he or she will never remember with Coronado's unruly denizens. For this, Coronado is truly deserving of a Pass.

A taming of the shrew?

UA students regarded the unveiling of Women's Plaza of honor with little anticipation, and so it seems only appropriate that the result of all that construction and money is so underwhelming. Accusations of sexism aside, we are only left to wonder what kind of aesthetic the designers were aiming for (Stonehenge comes to mind). Ironically, most can't help but notice that the structure almost always seems to be populated by large, lounging, chain-smoking men, most of whom don't seem to be the least bit committed to equality of the sexes. The Women's Plaza gets a Fail.

For whom does the bell toll?

Of all the campus idiosyncrasies, our wayward campus bell is one of the most befuddling. As it's chronically either 12 minutes ahead or six minutes behind, students have become accustomed to ignoring the temperamental timekeeper while wondering just who it is that's keeping time (the most popular guess: Wilbur's illegitimate son). For all its charm, the bell still gets a Fail.