A slice of Bacon: Zona Zoo pass good for more than football
By Shane Bacon
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Just in case everyone forgot, that plastic holographic thing you have in the back of your wallet with "Zona Zoo" plastered across it is good for all Arizona sports, not just football.
You probably forgot the full effectiveness of the card in the debacle that had you thinking you were going to win men's basketball season tickets, similar to my excitement in trying to take down the $340 million Powerball jackpot this past week (I didn't win, just in case you were on the edge of your Harvill seat).
You probably forgot that our $40 Zona Zoo payment allows you access to all on-campus sports except men's basketball and gives you the chance to be more of an ultimate fan than Spike Lee on a good day.
You can watch Jennifer Abernathy spike it, Joy Hollingsworth swoosh it, Alicia Hollowell strike it, Sommer Scholl stick it, Josh Esler smooth it and Nikki David shoot it home.
Still not persuaded? I understand.
Here are some ideas to make sports at this school more fun to watch, more fun to attend and, dammit, more fun to just be a part of.
Have you ever been to an Icecats game? Yep, the men's club sports team that plays a sport on frozen water has the most loyal fans at this school and does what all university sports don't: IT SERVES FREAKING ALCOHOL AT THE GAMES!!! Do you want to know why everyone leaves a close Arizona football game? Ever ponder why three of your buddies just decided to stay on the UA Mall for pre-game, in-game and post-game parties? It's because they have a couple of cold ones in their hands. Call John McCain, Facebook Janet Napolitano, send a text-message to Bob Walkup: Let's just figure a way to allow a couple of tequila shots in between fourth downs.
Let's have a bat-spinning race whenever Hollowell straight K's someone. Yup, when a UCLA player is left checking the umpire's call, grab the first kid you can find in Hillenbrand Stadium, spin him around the Fungo 15 times and get him to run to the left-field fence and back. Hey, it gives a new meaning to "puke and rally."
We have one of the best business schools in the nation, a student newspaper that is ranked No. 1 in the nation and we can't come up with a chant better than "bullshit?" That's weaker than a Freddie Prinze Jr. movie. Let's collaborate for some better yells at any event. Why not "A-RI-ZON-A! WE-WILL-OWN-'YA!" Or "OUR-FOOTBALL-TEAM-MIGHT-SCORE-AS-OFTEN-AS-STANFORD'S-STUDENT-COUNCIL-PRESIDENT-BUT-OUR-GIRLS-ARE-HOTTER-THAN-YOURS!" (OK, maybe a stretch, but still ... )
Any time we play ASU - and I mean any time from now until the end of our generation - everyone bring a poster of Wes from MTV's "The Real World: Austin" and write next to him, "Proud to be a Sun Devil now?" If you wanted to take it a step further, maybe write down some of his best quotes from the show and have extra poster boards your friends can hold. He's so articulate and everything.
Go to an Arizona volleyball game with your buddies and just watch Kim Glass. Hey, it might not be a creative idea, but I promise you, it'll be fun and worth it.
Let's start a tradition similar to that of Texas A&M football games, where if the Aggies score a touchdown, you get to "score" in a sense with your date. OK, maybe "score" at this school isn't just a kiss, but we could intertwine that during a men's basketball scoring run. Pick a player, have a point total and continue with that. If freshman forward Marcus Williams gets to 10 points, you kiss your date on the cheek. If Williams pours in 25, maybe you can get a peck. If he goes Wilt Chamberlain in McKale Center and hits the century mark, well, you can use your own imagination.
Hopefully, you are interesting enough to find fun and different ways to enjoy being a college student. I can't completely hold your hand through the experience (unless you're cute), but collaborate with buddies, lather yourself with body paint and scream your new-and-improved chants as loud as your baby vocal cords will let you.
Remember, you're only a Wildcat for four years, plus tax.
Shane Bacon is a journalism senior.He can be reached at email@example.com.
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