A collection of views, gripes and nonsense

Random review

Ahh, remember childhood? Disney has just released a couple must-have DVDs of "DuckTales" and "Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers." I picked up "Rescue Rangers" and have got to say that - while not as enjoyable as in elementary school - the show is still pretty cool. There are 27 episodes on the three-disc set, and the one to watch out for is "The Case of the Cola Cult," in which the Rangers are called on to investigate a fishy cult of Coo-Coo Cola fans. The song all the furry creatures sing in unison while showering in orange and grape soda is worth $30 on its own.

Watch this

www.channel102.net Don't like what networks are feeding you? Go to Channel 102 for the most independent of TV shows, with shorts that are mostly parodies of the crap that networks have been turning out for years. They have five primetime shows and update about once a month. The top-rated show right now is the hilarious "Teen Homicide."

Download this

The White Stripes cover of Tegan and Sara's "Walking With A Ghost" is all the rage in the blogosphere. You can even legally download this one, as the Stripes have released it as a single on iTunes. Also check out Jack White singing Dolly Parton's "Jolene." The man can sing girl songs.

Read this

Http://gorillavsbear.net/ This could also be featured in the "Download This" section, but this is one of the best mp3 blogs on the Web. There are multiple updates every day, and it's a great place to get exposure to music you wouldn't hear otherwise, as well as info about the bands you might already love.

Gripe of the week

Either cars should have straight arrows, or people should start using their turn signals. Unless no one used their straight signals - then we'd have the same problem. Shit.

Quoteworthy

"I think the Mike Tyson story is the most interesting thing," biopic seeker Jamie Foxx said to MovieHole, apparently forgetting about all the way more interesting things, like Spam or toilets flushing backward in Australia.

A sarcastic comment

It's about time British people started working a little harder. The final episode of the critically acclaimed HBO series "Extras" aired on Sunday after only six episodes. In America, there are six "Law & Order" episodes every week. Get off your fannies and make more shows, ya lazy Brits.

Newsworthy

Filmmaker Vincent Gallo ("The Brown Bunny," "Buffalo '66") is offering up his sperm for sale through in-vitro fertilization on his official merchandising Web site, www.vgmerchandise.com. Fortunately, the price is a reasonable $1 million, or $1.5 million if you want "natural insemination." Among the incentives for buying the sperm are: His family is genetically pure ("no cripples") and he's guaranteeing a big penis for the kid ("8 inches if he's like his father"). Mr. Gallo is also interested in selling to a "Jew mother," because if the child becomes a filmmaker, "this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar."