Thoughts on what might have been

I was going to write a column about the NHL playoffs but I realized that I didn't care.

I was going to write a column about Arizona State but I realized that I had nothing nice to say, so I shouldn't say anything at all.

I was going to write a column about the chat room of the online Wildcat but I realized that would mean actually admitting that I had taken the time to read posts and reply to people.

I was going to write a column about my predictions for the NBA playoffs but I realized that enough people kiss Michael Jordan's shiny new Nike's.

I was going to write a column about the Chicago Cubs but I realized you can only say the word "stink" so many times without it getting repetitive.

I was going to write a column about the Dallas Cowboys but I realized they are all eligible for parole soon.

I was going to write a column about my exploits in high school sports but I realized I didn't have any.

I was going to write a column about Jackie Robinson but I realized that nothing I could possibly say could express the importance and significance of what he accomplished 50 years ago.

I was going to write a column about how much Las Vegas bettors lost on Arizona in the NCAA Tournament but I realized you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you.

I was going to write a column about Dennis Rodman but I realized this is a family paper.

I was going to write a column about sports gambling but I realized it hurt too much to think about Pete Rose not being in the Hall of Fame.

I was going to write a column about the Arizona men's basketball team but I realized it made me want to streak down Fourth Avenue. And that just wouldn't be pretty.

I was going to write a column about girls but I realized my teachers always told me to write about something I knew.

I was going to write a column about all the black players who've played at Augusta National, the home of the Masters, but I realized the list is embarrassingly small.

I was going to write a column about the 55 cent Big Mac but I realized it's tough to write with one in each hand.

I was going to write a column about the suspect performance of the intramural softball umpires but I realized they're doing a good job.

So I gave up.

Sports editor Craig Degel shares his thoughts on sports and life every Wednesday in the Wildcat.