She trusted him. She thought they knew each other well. They would hang out on weekends, go to movies and kiss a little. She didn't realize that soon she was to become the next victim of date rape.

Jessica's story

Jessica knew her attacker for about seven months before he raped her.

"I was so proud of myself - I was 18 and a virgin in college," she remembers.

They were making out when Jessica decided she wanted to stop. She told him no and said she wanted to wait until marriage.

"I thought I said it once and made myself clear; obviously, it never happened that way. I thought he knew how I wanted it to be and assumed that he wouldn't cross that line. I tried to resist and I told him no, but he did it anyway." Jessica's eyes fill w ith tears as she remembers the spring break night that changed her life.

After that night, Jessica refused to speak to her attacker for a month or so.

Jessica kept her secret inside for more than four months, until she finally told her best friend. Although she knows she should get professional help, Jessica is afraid of what people will say.

"The only way I can get through it is if I go to my pastor and say, 'Look, I need help,'" she says.

Jessica has forgiven her friend, and continues to have sex with him because she is afraid to say no.

"I feel like when I see him that I'm expected to have sex, and I don't want to," she says. "I know he meant it when he apologized, but I still feel like I'm just there for sex."

Jessica wants other girls to realize rape can happen to anyone.

"People picture rape victims as little dependent people that need a guy to rely on and were raped because of their insecurity or whatever," she says. "Or it was a total forceful thing, but there's nothing really in between."

What is rape?

According to the law, sexual assault occurs when someone intentionally or knowingly engages in sexual intercourse or oral sexual contact with anyone who does not consent. Sexual assault includes fondling or manipulating genitals, anus or female breasts. R ape is penetration without consent and is a form of sexual assault.

Last year, there were four reported sexual assault cases on the University of Arizona campus. However, Lt. Brian Seastone of the University of Arizona Police Department, says that on college campuses, most rapes go unreported.

What happens next?

Initially, a rape victim may be in shock, have nightmares, flashbacks and tearfulness. Psychologist Olga Carranza, who works in Campus Health Center Counseling and Psychological Services, says this can last a few moments or a period of time. Some victims may try to move on without dealing with the trauma of the rape. The only thing they want to do is forget what happened.

Once in counseling, Carranza lets victims know that what they're experiencing is normal. The choices they made could have been different, but first they need to realize that it's not their fault, she says.

Regardless of if a person wants to prosecute a crime or not, Seastone says to report it to the police immediately.

"The victim is number one, prosecution is second," he says.

If a victim reports the rape within 72 hours, he or she can choose to undergo a forensic medical exam. Sexual Assault Service sends a female advocate and female nurse to meet victims at the hospital of their choice. Jennie Mullins, communication coordinat or at the Tucson Rape Crisis Center, says it is up to the victim whether or not to report the rape.

The Tucson Rape Crisis Center had about 1,750 calls last year on the crisis line. Ten percent of the center's users are men. Since last November, 110 people underwent the forensic medical exam, Mullins says. Two of those were male victims.

Matt Sanders, program assistant at UA's Oasis Center for Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence, says that after a rape occurs, many people are in denial, and most don't want to talk about it to friends. Victims don't want the rapist to get in trouble a nd they don't want to be ridiculed or looked at as "easy," Sanders says.

After a rape occurs, a person usually wants to get rid of clothes if they were ripped and shower and scrub compulsively. Those behaviors are understandable, says Sanders, but they destroy the ability to prove what happened.

If short-term evidence is destroyed, there is another way some women have been able to prove they have been raped. Sanders says blunt force trauma occurs only in women that have been forced to have sex. Vaginally, the woman is not responding to sex. She i s not lubricated and is not tilted in a way to receive a man. She may have abrasions and bruising. Sanders says trauma doesn't occur in wild, playful sex. It clearly occurs only in non-consentual, forced sex.

Victims of date rape often have trouble trusting after the rape, especially if they were raped by someone they know.

"They've assaulted you and there is severe emotional damage," Sanders says. "You don't feel like you can trust your gut feeling anymore."

He said, she said

Sanders says rape often deals with someone's perception of what happened, often with alcohol.

"From a man's perspective, he would say it was not rape," he says. "From a woman's, she may feel unable to respond; she has a perception that it was forced."

When men hear no, they have to be triggered immediately to stop.

Even if a person doesn't say no, Carranza says body language can. If someone is squirming or trying to keep her clothes on, she isn't saying no, but she isn't saying yes.

She adds that sometimes with a stranger, a body can go limp from shock. What the body is saying is that it's afraid of what is happening.

Effects of alcohol

Going to a party can be a high risk area because of the amount of alcohol available. The intention for some people is not just to socialize but to "hook up."

"When people meet each other for the first time - and they're alone - and the only piece of furniture in the room is a bed, there is an implied sexual intent, especially if alcohol is involved," Sanders says.

On college campuses, 85 to 95 percent of sexual assaults occur when either person is using alcohol, according to the Oasis Center. People know each other an average of 45 minutes before a rape occurs.

"The whole idea of spontaneity is exciting, but with that choice comes a risk," Sanders says.

Mary Koss, professor of family and community medicine, says that many believe that if both he and she are drunk, it's not rape. Under the law, the man is responsible to not have sex if there is no consent.

Alcohol doesn't cause rape or women to be raped. Under the influence, men perceive women want sex, and women may be sending out subconscious signals that they do. Most women feel that if they were drinking, they can't claim rape.

Koss says, "A woman deserves to have a bad hangover, a headache and feel sick to her stomach all day if she drinks. She doesn't deserve to get raped."

Myths and stereotypes

Some men believe that because a woman has had sex before, she always has sex. Men have the expectation that if they have sex with someone once, they can do it again, says Sanders. He says both the man and woman involved in the rape receive counseling beca use both have issues to talk about.

"The first thing is her safety, she's not the one being harmful he is," says Sanders.

Koss says studies show parents allow more freedom to sons than daughters.

"Our society still has the concept of 'slut,' but there is no such word for a man. The counterpart for slut is stud. Women in college believe that the sexual revolution created an equal playing field; they can say yes when they mean yes, and no when they mean no and be listened to. They believe they have control over their bodies, which they should, but it is not the reality," Koss adds.

Koss also says that because of the lack of sex education in schools, a lot of young men rely on pornographic movies and magazines.

"It's pathetic that a man would believe those images," she says.

Men's roles

One in six men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Sanders says men often don't see how that is possible, but too much alcohol can render them unable to fight off an attack, says Sanders.

He adds that it is the man's responsibility to make sure consent is given because typically, the male is the aggressor. Men need to communicate. Do not tell, ask.

"A lot of men don't understand what it feels like to have consentual sex, and it's really sad. They're missing it all," says Sanders.

Women's roles

In 1995, there were 97,464 reported female rapes in the nation, according to the FBI's Uniform Crime Reports.

Koss suggests women need to be aware that they're more likely to be raped with someone they know than with a stranger.

"Ask yourself 'Is this a guy who could rape me?' They may look nice, but you always have to have some level of suspicion about everybody," says Koss.

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