Staff Reports
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 16, 1997

Saturday Morning Sex Appeal

Cartoons on Saturday morning are a somewhat religious experience for any child. When your parents were sleeping, "Scooby Doo," "He-Man" and "Dick Dastardly" were there for you, keeping you entertained for hours on end.

But one thing about many of these cartoons, which most kids are aware of but not in any way they could put into words, is that the female characters often have a pretty strong amount of sexual energy for a couple of lines and a dash of paint.

Today, the appeal of animated women is no longer understated, with films such as "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and "Cool World" and shows like HBO's late-night "Spicy City" being actually based on the cartoon fetish.

There was a time, though, when things were more subtle. Back in the days of classic cartoons like "Scooby Doo" and "The Flinstones," no one was making animated stories about real people having sex with cartoon women (like "Cool World"). The girls were still cute, but in a much more innocent way. They were more innocent times. Maybe better times.

In the spirit of those classic shows and their women, with a longing eye turned toward times past, it's time to remember those who have been lost in the shuffle and what they left to the imagination. The hormonally-crazed James Casey takes us back to all the girls we've loved before.

Daphne Blake ("Scooby Doo"): The most famous of the lot, Daphne was the fly girl who was into her clothes and fashion. Daphne was also rich and paid for the gang's adventures. A choice pick in Cartoon Land.

Josie/ Melody ("Josie and the Pussycats"): Two of the best looking girls in cartoon-rock. Josie, the redhead, was the leader of the band and Melody, the blonde, was the drummer. They both wore cat ears and tight clothes - 'nuff said

She-Ra ("Princess of Power"): She-Ra was like Xena, but better looking and not from New Zealand. She lived in Crystal Castle, a lush pad in the mountains and when not playing the warrior, was sitting pretty as Princess Adora of Etheria. She-Ra knew that the closest way to a man's heart was through his ribs, with her 3-foot sword.

Cheetara ("The Thundercats"): Cheetara, like She-Ra, was also a great warrior and had the body that came with it. Cheetara knew how to disarm any foe and, judging by her athletic prowess, she would be great in bed.

Mary Jane ("The Amazing Spiderman"): Peter Parker was one lucky bastard. He could climb up walls, catch the baddies and return home to his seemingly sex-starved wife. Mary Jane was a green-eyed redhead, with looks similar to model Angie Everheart and only a bit more airbrushing.

Judy Jetson ("The Jetsons"): Judy was one of those spacey chicks who knew how to pull the guys. Judy was well-to-do, beautiful and had her own space-car. Judy was a big tease though, as she wore very short skirts but never seemed to give out to the boys.

Betty Rubble ("The Flintstones"): There's something about a woman in prehistoric rags. Betty was the ultimate in Bedrock and Barney, her small, mentally-challenged husband, was the envy of the whole town. Betty also had legs that went on for miles, unlike the somewhat tubby Rosie O'Donnell in the 1995 movie.

And honorable mentions must go to: Scarlet ("GIJoe"), Penelope Pitstop ("Wacky Races"), Shiela ("Dungeons and Dragons"), Jessie Bannon ("Jonny Quest") and Jem ("Jem and the Holograms").

These girls set standards that no real woman can ever live up to, of course, but then again, that's probably why we love them so much. Playboy Channel? Who needs it. Not as long as we've got Cartoon Network.

Judy, Josie and Betty courtesy of Hanna-Barbera

She-Ra courtesy of Busta Toons