the adoption option: a tale for today

Arizona Daily Wildcat

Actually, I'm not going to do that at all. The issue involves just too much, if you ask me. First, we'd have to define life, consciousness, choice and individuality in terms that apply to everyone, are accessible and obvious, and contain no hidden agendas. I will leave that to future generations, freed from the slavery of symbolic language, zooming around in air cars to solve. Me, I'm just going to tell you a story.

It's about my mom, or rather the woman who was not my mom. My mom is a lovely woman with a fantastic beanie baby collection who can cook you the best enchiladas you've ever had. She, despite much prompting on my part, remained patient and loving during my teenage years. She has even forgiven a drunken, insane phone call. She is a great mom, and I really lucked out.

However, the woman that gave birth to me has an interesting story.

It is the fall of 1976. She'd just discovered that she was pregnant, and her lover fled in horror. She was a graduate student, and that's about all I know. She could have very easily had an abortion, legal or otherwise if that's what she wanted.

Instead, she carried me to term. And gave me away. I can't imagine the extremely difficult decisions she faced, and answered with a sense of selflessness that I could not have had.

If I were to get pregnant today (well first, I'd be the most surprised person in the world) I'd probably have an abortion. I don't think I'm ready to be a mother or father and certainly do not have what it takes to raise a child in my gut for nearly a year, and then hand that child over to strangers. I am weak in this regard, and my biological mother was strong.

However, her decisions were hers, for reasons that I will never know. The key issue is that she had a choice. I feel incredibly lucky to live in a free society where reproductive freedom is permitted. Human life is the ultimate, for me at least, and the ability to control our act of reproduction is essential. (Note: Even the Greeks had abortifacent herbs).

What frightens me is the murder of doctors, and the fervent yelling on both sides of the issue. As long as an individual's right to determine their own reproductive legacy is conserved, both sides win. Regardless of your religious or ethical background, you are allowed to make a decision.

If my mother had decided differently, my column would not be here, replaced with something doubtlessly more interesting and relevant. However, here I am, and I'm warning us. The future has far more reproductive decisions coming, from in vitro fertilization to wholesale genetic modification in the womb. It will make the decision my biological mother made seem nearly trivial. I implore you to think.

My real Mom rocks the house though, and if you're ever in my neighborhood stop by to meet her.