I think the reason everyone has such a miserable prom is because they put too much importance on who they go with, whether it be that cute boy that smiles at you in the hall everyday or the captain of the cheerleaders. I went with a friend. I was the slender, alabaster Sally to his tall, lanky Jack Skelington for this was the year "Nightmare Before Christmas" came out. My corsage was roughly the size of a wrist rocket and was used as such as we pretended to vaporize our enemies throughout prom. We had sashimi with friends before the prom. This would later prove a mistake. As we were assembling our group of misfits for our photo, I noticed my brother was missing. We took the photo and set out to find Johnson the Younger. We found him in a service hallway surrounded by a fetid pool of regurgitated shrimp tempura (damn good thing he didn't have the sashimi.)
Weeks later, when pictures were delivered, we discovered the hack photographers had torn our negatives. We received half cash back and a $5 gift certificate to their old time photo booth at the amusement park. These are the kind of professionals they hire for proms. Let it be a lesson to all.
If your prom night was anything like mine, Club Congress is offering you a chance to rewrite history. This Friday night, bring yourself and a date (if you want) to the Second Annual Prom Night at 9. Tickets are $5 in advance, $7 day of show, and $10 if you don't look prom-y enough. Packages are available for hefty prices. Call Club Congress at 622-8848 for more information.