It's go time

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat Bryan Rosenbaum

Is a 5-0, No. 10-ranked football team not good enough for you? Is one of the nation's top basketball programs not enough, either? Let's go down the line and make you, the students, better fans. The list is directed at football, but should be carried over into any event. Our teams deserve it.

Rule No. 1

The seat number on your ticket does not actually mean you get to sit in that exact seat.

Now, I know this is difficult to understand, but there is no reserved seating in the student section. The numbers on the ticket are there for decoration - they are randomly picked and printed on the ticket because the university has to.

If you want to sit with your friends, you don't need to have tickets right next to each other. All you have to do is, get this, sit with who you want to. That's easy! So don't come in midway through the first quarter expecting to sit in your seat; get there early.

Rule No. 2

Don't tell me to sit down.

You know who you are. If you don't want to stand and see the game, I suggest you move way over to the sides or watch the game on television. I'm at the game to cheer for the team, and cheer like mad I will. Don't interrupt my fun.

Rule No. 3

Learn the fight song.

Yes, we have a fight song, and it's called "Bear Down." It's not that long, and it's easy to learn. At most schools, if you don't know the fight song, you're laughed at. You also feel left out.

I've felt more energy here when the band plays the national anthem.

Rule No. 4

Stop jiggling your keys.

Contrary to popular belief, jiggling your keys doesn't make any noise at all. If you absolutely must, don't do it after the other team scores. Bring a cowbell, foghorn, whatever. Or, better yet, just yell.

Rule No. 5

Cheer!

When somebody tries to start a cheer, most people laugh and point at the person. Chances are, that person won't ever try to start a cheer again. For the UCLA game and every game Arizona ever plays from this day forward, look back at the fallen heroes, for they are martyrs! Jump up and down, get a good "U of A" cheer going, get on the backs of the opposing team. Make teams scared to play here.

Rule No. 6

Stop Wilbur from doing push-ups after we score.

Wilbur, a great mascot, struggles when Arizona's score gets beyond a certain point.

Rule No. 7

Stop the "Right up the middle!" cheers.

Trung Canidate and Kelvin Eafon can run it in from anywhere. Who are we to tell them what to do?

Rule No. 8

Don't leave early.

Imagine if you had left before Ortege Jenkins' touchdown flip. How would you feel? Well, I think there is going to be a similar, intense ending (with us winning again, of course) this week, too. Stick around - the frat parties won't be starting until after the game, anyway.

Rule No. 9

Storm the field after the victory and tear down the goal posts.

For this, we need the entire student body's (and possibly some sauced parents') participation. ASU fans tried in '96, but failed. Is that enough to motivate you?

Rule No. 10

Our campus is too pretty. TP the Mall after we beat UCLA. What the palm trees need after a big win is a little toilet paper, the true sign of school spirit. While we're at it, let's dye the fountain in front of Old Main red or blue, or hang a stuffed teddy bear with a UCLA shirt underneath that freaky arch outside of the CBS building.

Decorate the campus for the parents. You know they did it when they were our age.

All you have to do is follow these 10 easy steps, and you can become a real Wildcat fan. Our team is fired up, and there's no reason you shouldn't be. Beat UCLA!

Bryan Rosenbaum is a sophomore majoring in journalism and can be reached via e-mail at Bryan.Rosenbaum@wildcat.arizona.edu.