One in a crowd of a million

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat

Later, after discussing this with her she said, "I now know how you feel."

I thought to myself, she knows how I feel.

When applying to the University of Arizona not everyone looks at the population of each ethnic group on campus. Sure, we know that those statistics are in the brochure but most students pay more attention to the school's reputation when deciding which university to attend.

The question is what is the big deal? OK, big deal. I look around campus and there are few faces that resemble my own. And if I wanted to be surrounded by all African Americans I could have gone to a black university, but I didn't. I wanted to be where not all is white or all is black for our world is black, white, brown and many other colors of the rainbow.

When you first leave home to attend a university that is predominately white and you have lived in a predominantly African American community, the transition is hard. Your horizons broaden.

That is the reason most students come to college, to learn more. We come to learn more about ourselves and how we can contribute to this society. The individual comes to realize that he or she has to adapt and at the same time not lose his or her culture. That culture is what got the person here in the first place.

How do you adapt? That I am not sure of because at times I feel that I am the only one wearing these shoes and at other times, I know I am not alone.

I often wonder about the people who can adapt. I wonder how they truly feel inside. Do they feel they are accepted by one and rejected by another, or do they feel at peace?

I didn't do long, drawn-out research on this; I can only draw from personal experience and those of my friends.

And from our experiences, there are many days when tears fall. Nights when we wonder are we losing by swaying from one crowd to the next?

And then there are those days were we know that we have made the right decision. We know we are making progress.

We are lucky that there are many programs at the university that want to reach out to us. Unfortunately most of us get caught up in our new social environment and don't rely on these programs that are here for us.

I am guilty of that myself. At one of the many freshman convocations, I recall a speaker mentioning how she too, upon entering college, felt alone. How she was one of the 12 African Americans at the university and that things are slowly changing.

Change is good. There is a reason I chose the University of Arizona, the last state to recognize Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. Reason being I needed change.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But I did realize that there would be a time in my life that I would need to face the real world. A world were everything doesn't work out the way you want it to be, but the way is has to be.

That is why the population of African Americans at this university isn't extremely large yet. It doesn't have to be just yet, but it will be someday.

So when you see the average African American freshman on campus, try to see college life through that person's eyes.

Try and understand everything he or she struggles with. Imagine being that person.

That is one awakening my roommate was able to experience. She was able to be that one person in a room with no one the same as her. And that is what we feel like.

But we cannot get up and leave the room. We have to stick it out. For this is our life, our day-to-day process of living, not just one poetry reading.

Erica Breaux is a psychology freshman and can be reached via e-mail at Erica.Breaux@wildcat.arizona.edu. Her column, Bigmouth Freshman, appears on alternate Wednesdays.