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Columnist wrongfully bashes

To the editor,

Wow. Another great essay from Zack Armstrong. Yet again he shows us, with cutting logic, just what is happening in our world. It's so refreshing to see such a champion of freedom and people. It's sentinels like him who will constitute the enlightened cadre that will lead us to our great shining future.

Take, for instance, his latest blessing to the people in the form of his graceful word. Mr. Armstrong wisely points out the pitfalls of the Internet as a branch of capitalism. The respectful Armstrong understands that the vulgar masses are incapable of discrimination between the worthless blather of capitalist claptrap and the information rich content of every word that leaves his mouth and hand. Furthermore, Armstrong the Great makes the double plus-good assertion that Internet content must be controlled in order to protect children from Goldsteinist propaganda.

Don't let the enemies of the people sway you with their confused claims about the first amendment and such. Our beloved Armstrong has already crushed their flawed logic with infallible proof that people cannot be trusted with their second amendment rights. If the people cannot be trusted with constitutionally granted rights, or freedom of the Internet, what can they be trusted with? We should count our blessings that our Big Brother, Zach Armstrong, is there to save us from our enemies and ourselves.

Winston Smith

World history revision senior