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'Chill Factor' silly, leaves viewers cold

Arizona Daily Wildcat Photo Courtesy of Morgan Creek Productions Skeet Ulrich and Cuba Gooding Jr. star in Morgan Creek's high-octane action film, "Chill Factor." The movie is distributed by Warner Bros.

"Chill Factor" is ridiculous. No matter what else is said in this review, you should know that this movie is just plain silly.

That said, I'll continue.

"Chill Factor" is the story of a troubled drifter, Skeet Ulrich, a good kid at heart who got in some trouble and ran away from the consequences. In his travels, he makes friends with a scientist , David Paymer, a man with a heavy heart.

You see, ten years ago, Paymer - or 'Doc' as Skeet cleverly calls him - invented the worst chemical weapon ever. During a last-minute test of the weapon - or 'Elvis' as Doc cleverly calls it (providing much humor in lines such as "Elvis is approaching the stage" and "Elvis has left the building") the reaction destroys everything within a five mile radius. It also takes the lives of 18 men under the control of Major Brynner (portrayed by thrilling British actor Peter Firth. You may have seen him in the classic film, "LifeForce," a touching sci-fi romance in which Patrick Stewart throws up a bloody alien).

Brynner is blamed for the deaths of his men and is placed in jail for 10 years. And that brings us to the present day where Brynner is released and becomes evil. The audience knows he's bad because he glares at the camera when they release him. He doesn't even care about his country anymore, he only wants to steal Elvis and sell him to the highest bidder.

In order to do this, Brynner and his crew slit a lot of throats and shoot dear old Doc.

But through some miracle, the scientist is able to grab Elvis and outrun Brynner and his crew to the small diner that Skeet works at.

Meanwhile, Skeet has been having an encounter with good hearted ice cream deliverer Cuba Gooding Jr. What luck! You see Elvis must be kept under 55 mph - I mean 50 degrees Fahrenheit or else it will destroy all of Montana, and what a loss that would be. So after David Paymer's dramatic death scene, Cuba and Skeet are off on a fantastic adventure. They struggle to keep Elvis on ice as they traverse the countryside (although you may notice that Brynner walks around outside with Elvis in his arms for at least fifteen minutes.)

After many extremely tense moments, well, I don't mean to spoil it for you, but the good guys do what they normally do and the bad guys do what they normally do. And as Cuba and Skeet laugh about their ordeal and the credits begin to roll, you can almost hear a sigh rise through out the crowd - a single word on the tip of everyone's tongue.

"Ridiculous."