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Section Header
On the Spot

Photo
Patrick Bigger
regional development sophomore
By Rebekah Jampole
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Tuesday December 10, 2002

Free tuition, beer, long johns with the flap in the tush all say ╬holidays' to sophomore

WILDCAT: Are you excited that the semester is almost over?

BIGGER: Hell, yes.

WILDCAT: What are you going to do for the holidays?

BIGGER: Probably go home.

WILDCAT: Are you hoping that a fat man in a suit comes down your chimney and brings you presents?

BIGGER: Damn straight.

WILDCAT: What do you want him to bring you this year?

BIGGER: How about tuition?

WILDCAT: Indeed. I heard that he has hired little elves who take care of that.

BIGGER: Me, too.

WILDCAT: Those elves crack me up. So, really, you're just going to hang out with your family?

BIGGER: Yeah, and probably drink a lot of beer.

WILDCAT: Nothing like Christmas beer. Know what would be funny? Drinking Christmas beer with the elves.

BIGGER: Drunken elves and drunken family ¸ even funnier.

WILDCAT: It's a little chilly outside. Do you like the cold?

BIGGER: I don't care either way.

WILDCAT: I prefer the heat. I hate having to put layers on in the winter; then you look all roly-poly.

BIGGER: But layers are efficient.

WILDCAT: They are very efficient. Do you wear thermal underwear?

BIGGER: I do.

WILDCAT: Are you wearing them now?

BIGGER: No.

WILDCAT: Have you ever worn the ones that have the opening in the tush? You know, it's like a little flap.

BIGGER: You know, those are actually hard to find. You'd be shocked.

WILDCAT: I am shocked. Those are so cool; they should most definitely make them more accessible. They'd be very convenient if you had to go number two.

BIGGER: No arguments here.

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