By Rebekah Jampole
regional development sophomore
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Tuesday December 10, 2002
Free tuition, beer, long johns with the flap in the tush all say ╬holidays' to sophomore
WILDCAT: Are you excited that the semester is almost over?
BIGGER: Hell, yes.
WILDCAT: What are you going to do for the holidays?
BIGGER: Probably go home.
WILDCAT: Are you hoping that a fat man in a suit comes down your chimney and brings you presents?
BIGGER: Damn straight.
WILDCAT: What do you want him to bring you this year?
BIGGER: How about tuition?
WILDCAT: Indeed. I heard that he has hired little elves who take care of that.
BIGGER: Me, too.
WILDCAT: Those elves crack me up. So, really, you're just going to hang out with your family?
BIGGER: Yeah, and probably drink a lot of beer.
WILDCAT: Nothing like Christmas beer. Know what would be funny? Drinking Christmas beer with the elves.
BIGGER: Drunken elves and drunken family ¸ even funnier.
WILDCAT: It's a little chilly outside. Do you like the cold?
BIGGER: I don't care either way.
WILDCAT: I prefer the heat. I hate having to put layers on in the winter; then you look all roly-poly.
BIGGER: But layers are efficient.
WILDCAT: They are very efficient. Do you wear thermal underwear?
BIGGER: I do.
WILDCAT: Are you wearing them now?
WILDCAT: Have you ever worn the ones that have the opening in the tush? You know, it's like a little flap.
BIGGER: You know, those are actually hard to find. You'd be shocked.
WILDCAT: I am shocked. Those are so cool; they should most definitely make them more accessible. They'd be very convenient if you had to go number two.
BIGGER: No arguments here.