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How to: Make your own ANTI-Valentine's Cards

Photo
The finished product.
By Jessica Suarez
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Thursday February 13, 2003

Whether it be a card of love or hate, GoWild will show you how to make a card to show that special someone how you really feel this Valentine's Day

Remember Valentine's Day in third grade, when you and your classmates would meticulously decorate a tissue box with construction paper hearts, then walk around the classroom depositing your valentines into your friends' boxes? Remember how you turned your box over, looking for a card from your crush, only to come up empty-handed? Remember how they asked out your best friend three days later?

This Feb. 14, show your friends and lovers how over them you are with your own customized valentines. Making your own is cheaper than buying a stack of them. Plus, you can avoid sugary-sweet sentiments and let everyone know how you really feel. The supplies are available at any art supply or craft store. (I found mine at Posner's, 1025 N. Park Ave.)

You'll need:
1 linoleum block
Linoleum cutting tools, or an old carrot peeler
A plate of glass (pop one out of an old picture frame, one of your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend will work)
Poster paint
Cardstock paper
A roller
A wooden spoon
A cold heart

Step One:
· Try out your card design on a piece of paper, since making a mistake on the linoleum block is difficult to correct. Remember, the white space is what you have to carve away, so try to keep things simple. My chosen design, based on space and my complete lack of artistic talent, was a card with the words, "I love you not. Love, me" accompanied by a poorly rendered skull and crossbones I was going for the pirate look.

Step Two:
· Draw your design onto the linoleum block. Remember, any words you write will come out in reverse, so write backwards. If you strive for perfection, use a sheet of tracing paper to trace your finished design onto the block.

Step Three:
· Use your chosen carving tools to carve out your design. This is by far the most difficult part. Go slowly, and scrape off only the topmost layer when making your first cuts. If you mess up, glue the little pieces back. If you stab yourself, wipe the blood on your block. A Valentine written in your own blood tells your sweetheart you really, really care.

Step Four:
· Squirt some paint on the plate of glass. Get a nice, even amount on your roller, then spread onto your linoleum block. Don't use too much paint , or you'll fill in what you've just carved. If you have lots of tiny details on your block, you can use a small paintbrush to make sure your paint is exactly where you want it on your block.

Step Five:
· Place your card over the block. Make sure it doesn't shift around and smear your design.

Step Six:
· Use your wooden spoon to smooth down the card. If you don't mind getting messy, you can carefully use your fingertips to smooth the card down even more.

Step Seven:
· Peel your card off your linoleum block slowly.

Step Eight:
· Repeat for all the sweethearts on your hit list.

Step Nine:
· Clean up. Purchase alcohol. Pretend like it's okay to be alone on Valentine's Day. Drink any doubts away.


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