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Women, criminals in disguise

Illustration by Arnie Bermudez
By Moe Naqvi
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Friday, September 10, 2004
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Women: I love them, but they must be stopped. Men are no doubt considered the physically stronger sex. However, when it comes to the male gender being seduced, we fall faster than a drunk Oompa Loompa to an angry Mike Tyson.

Beautiful women are the Achilles heel of most men, and when one walks by we cannot help to look twice or bite our fist. My crusade in this editorial is to call for all men to be stronger against women, no matter how low-cut their shirts are.

This week, a group of friends and I went down to a restaurant in the Student Union Memorial Center. Two of my friends happened to be beautiful females. We ate what we ordered, but the appetite of the girls still had not been satiated. They wanted more food, but the only obstacle was money. But they do have breasts, and those can be just as good as money.

Moe Naqvi

They went up to the person at the register, who happened to be a guy, and shook their goodies, which ended in them getting free food. What disturbed me was that the guy was in his 30s and possibly the manager. He clearly had no chance of getting with these girls, yet he still gave them free food.

Not only is this wrong, but it kind of makes me want to go get breast implants and a blonde wig. We live in a world in which girls can get by on their looks (if they want) and men stand by to allow it. Men need to puff out their chests, put their sexual hormones in check, and say, "No!" to a woman every once in a while; otherwise women will take over the world, and then all hope is lost.

Women are becoming more sexually objectified due to their actions in public and my dorm room. Just kidding about the last part. Seriously though, when women get what they want by flaunting their physical beauty, in reality they are conveying themselves as cheap, ineffectual individuals.

Before I came to college, I worked at this store called Water N' Ice. Water N' Ice was located in an area that encompassed Arizona State University as well as a couple high schools. Everyday at least three drop-dead gorgeous girls would come in, "accidentally" drop their pen in front of me, and then ask for a free snow cone because they really, really wanted one.

Do you know what I did? I called security on their beautiful bodies then I ate a snow cone in front of their faces and told them how yummily delcious it was out of spite. I, for one, am a guy who refuses to let girls make a chump out of me. Well, at least not if I know about it.

Guys, when you give girls things for free because they show you a little skin, you are just becoming another statistic in their book of desperate losers. The only time men should give girls free stuff is when they are either married or have a girlfriend, not when some random girl asks for it.

Some girls are probably shrieking to themselves right now, "Mr. Bigshot-Column-Guy-Moe is just jealous because he can't go out, shake his booty and get his own free stuff." But they are wrong. I could very well use my beautiful biceps and chiseled chest to obtain a tantalizing Big Mac or a large pizza from Domino's, but I rebuff the thought of ever eating food received by tainted means.

Girls are wonderful, and I love them with all my heart and more, but when they take advantage of the sexual weakness of males, they might as well change their names to Josef Stalin. Stalin took advantage of the stupidity and frailty of his people and used them to his favor, and women nowadays play the weakness and foolishness of men. I know, I know, it is a perfect metaphor.

Women, please stop taking advantage of us. And if you don't, I expect all men out there to put some pants on and say, "No, ma'am."

Moe Naqvi is a physiological sciences freshman. He can be reached at

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