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Wednesday April 25, 2001

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Down with up-side, Charlie Ward and Billy the Marlin

By Ryan Finley

It was nice to see my hometown San Diego Chargers go out and show some cajones during the weekend's NFL Draft. Instead of drafting Michael Vick - a 20-year-old still three years away from starting - they took two future professional football stars, LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees. I like this draft. Seriously.

It's like a breath of fresh air to see a team draft players based on what they have actually done instead of what their (ack!) up-side is.

Unlike the NBA, where kids still going through puberty have their own shoe contracts (doesn't Darius Miles endorse Clearasil?), the NFL relies mostly on - get this - accomplishment.

While this wouldn't bode too well for Richard Jefferson or Gilbert Arenas - both players have incredibly high ceilings but little actual accomplishment to show for it - the NBA should look at what players have done, not what they could do.

If up-side meant squat in the sports world, I'd be watching Todd VanPoppel face Ruben Rivera in the World Series. Ewww ...

... Proving once again that NBA players - specifically on the New York Knicks - are idiots, guard Charlie Ward is taking serious heat for claiming in a recent New York Times Magazine article that Jewish people "have the blood of Christ on their hands" and are typically stubborn. It turns out that Ward - a born-again Christian - believes that today's Jewish people are responsible for crucifying Jesus 2,000 years ago.

NBA commissioner David Stern is still thinking of what disciplinary actions to take against Ward. While I think a scourging and a crown of thorns would do, I suggest he do something - anything - before the NBA's Jewish players start striking. Charlie, prepare to feel the wrath of Danny Schayes!

Memo to the Knicks: Cut Charlie's Heisman Trophy-winning behind and pick up Towson University freshman Tamir Goodman, a Hassidic Jew known in basketball circles as the "Jewish Jordan." Odds are Goodman - who wears a yarmulke and refuses to play on the Sabbath - is a better player anyway ...

... Time for the annual "Go out and see a ballgame" sales pitch. The UA baseball and softball seasons are coming to an end and to the surprise of, well, nobody - hardly any Arizona students go to any games. It sucks.

Don't feel so bad for the softballers - they're one of the best teams in the country and routinely draw consistently solid crowds to Hillenbrand Stadium. Unfortunately, in my opinion, too many have blue hair and too few are actual UA students.

The baseball team is in the middle of the Pacific 10 Conference standings this season, but there's plenty of good stuff to go see - notably junior right fielder Shelley Duncan's bat.

Duncan, one of the strongest Arizona athletes, leads college baseball in longballs and is a fan-favorite at Sancet Field. But guess what? He routinely plays in front of crowds of - maybe - 100 people. That ain't fair ...

... Just a little history note: Today marks the 25th anniversary of one of baseball's greatest events. Rick Monday, a right fielder for the Cubs, spotted two fans burning an American flag down the right field line and grabbed the flag, putting the fire out. At the time, Monday's gesture was heroic and noble, one of the first - and only - politically conscious things an athlete has ever done.

Monday - currently a Dodgers' broadcaster - was willing to be political without being crass, outspoken or radical.

On a totally unrelated topic, I saw Billy the Marlin get hit in the 'nads with a bat last night. No wonder people love the "old days" so much.