By
Jessica Lee
UA President Likins snaps the ball. The field goal is up...it's up...it's going...IT'S GOOD! Dick Tomey wins by 600,000!
It might have been the fault of the kickers, but it was Tomey who got booted off the field at the end of this season.
But, I suppose he can't complain. It seems that over half a million dollars is the going price for the UA not to get called for offsides in the courtroom.
Some of us have to wonder if the former head coach wasn't trying to pull a quarterback sneak the whole time. I mean, why pass the ball when you can score a huge paycheck alone?
Of course, it seems ridiculous that a coach who loved the game would plot to lose on purpose to inspire an expensive termination. It couldn't be all about the money, could it?
Then again, we must be easy on Tomey and Likins. After all, UA football must survive in a lineman-eat-lineman world. The pay must be competitive, right?
It seems that the capitalistic offensive line is widening the gap in the defense of collegiate sports. Now, in order to not fumble the national championship, universities must call the plays with their bank accounts. The role of big bucks within football glares off of the golden Babylonic goal posts.
Let's hope that once the final time-out is called and the empire of American football collapses, the UA will realize who the real champions are here: the softball team.
