Illustrati0on by Josh Hagler

The weather this weekend was terrible, wouldn't you agree? High winds and cold temps were quite the surprise. In fact, I actually had to briefly leave a party Saturday night to rush home and rescue my poor, frigid, outdoor plants.

Ah, but last week, oh yes, last week was heaven.

On Tuesday, my Advanced Portuguese Composition course was canceled, and so around noon, I headed over to the only remaining, tiny little patch of grass in front of the Administration building. It was quite the popular place to lounge out in the sun that day. In a perfect, symmetrical pattern, students had placed themselves on the grass about every five feet. There was just one little circle of grass left for me.

That afternoon was like biting into a slice of university life as I sat there watching the clouds go by. Every moment was like a little snippet of the college environment. Every third person had a cell phone.

"Yeah. Well, I'm supposed to head into class now, but I think I might stay on the grass. Why don't you come and join me?"

Others enjoyed one another's company.

"Let's go into the union and get some McDonald's fries."

"No. If I go in there, I'll spend $7 on orange chicken. I've got to stop doing that."

"You know that cactus garden isn't so pretty. Now that the university realizes it's important, maybe they'll finally give it some maintenance."

That last comment was said loudly, perhaps for grounds crew to hear. They were there as well, ripping the old flowers out of the "A" on the ground and putting fresh ones in.

"Well, she's really not my type," said a young man sitting with his legs crossed, due south of me.

"Yeah, but neither were the last 28 girls."

To my left, a young woman is approached by a man who attempts to kiss her hello. She snaps her purse shut and says:

"I had car trouble this morning and called you. Where were you at 6 a.m.?"

"At the rec center!"

"Yeah, I'll bet." She storms off.

Whew!

Suddenly, I am bitten by an ant and my attention is taken away from the lovers' quarrel. Also, I notice my arms are burning and I turn north to face the Admin building with my back to the sun. A young couple walks by.

"The professor waited until it was too late to drop the class, and then he handed back the first test. The average class score was 52. He's out to get us."

A few girls sit in a circle.

"Hi! Where have you been?"

"Not around much. Did you know that some administrators think the whole house has an anorexia problem?"

"Whoa, no I didn't hear that. Maybe it's for the best."

Then, to my right, comes a loud, "Ouch!"

A young woman, talking on a cell phone, has tripped over a young man. Irritated at first, the young man changes his tune and tries to follow her, introducing himself.

I giggle.

And now it's just 10 minutes until my second class today, Advanced Portuguese Conversation. Am I practicing my conversational skills?

"Oi, como vai?"

"Tudo bem! E voc?"

Puxa! No. I'm making an altogether different noise now. And the same one many others around me are making.

"SnoreˇˇˇˇˇSnoreˇˇ."

Ah, the Arizona winter sun. Isn't that why we're all here? Cats, enjoy spring break!