Missouri 86, UCLA 85

Would somebody explain to me why Texas hoops gets respect? They amass four quality wins all year, enter the tourney 5-5 in their last 10 games and routinely get worked by their panhandled brethren from up north, yet they wind up with a No. 6 seed. The Pac-10 will be represented in the Elite Eight - just not by Arizona.

Oregon 79, Texas 65

Kansas looked shaky in the first round against Holy Cross, especially when Kirk Hinrich sprained his ankle. Then they pounded Stanford by 23, with Hinrich contributing 15. So much for shakiness - and Illinois. This time next year, Illinois' Frank Williams will be toiling in the D-league obscurity his name deserves.

Kansas 90, Illinois 76

Duke might be the best team in the land, but in the words of Hoosier sophomore A.J. Moye, "It's not the University of Jesus Christ and you have 12 disciples playing." Expect this matchup to be just as good as the two teams' histories - eight national titles, 20 Final Fours - would indicate. I'm picking the upset.

Indiana 69, Duke 67

Every UA fan knew this would be the Cats' toughest roadblock to a return to the Final Four. Call me a homer, but there ain't no way I'm picking us to lose. JG, think I could roll with y'all to Club One-Tweezy when you get to Hot-Lanta?

Arizona 77, Oklahoma 75

  UCLA 92, Missouri 89

If Luke Walton went to Oregon, they'd have three curly-haired stoner-looking white boys named Luke - all with All-American capabilities. Let's hope Oregon's heads haven't gotten too big after ESPN's "All-Access" followed them around the last week. And let's hope Ridnour struggles far less with T.J. Ford than he did with his art appreciation project.

Oregon 88, Texas 82

The pieces have fallen in place just in time for the Illini to make this one of the best matchups of the tournament. Roy Williams finally has a legit team again, and I don't think even his son Frank can lead the Illini to this upset. Who's uglier: Lucas Johnson or Dan Gadzuric?

Kansas 91, Illinois 86

Funny how Duke's Dahntay Jones - whose last name was Moore until he found out his baby mama's sister's cousin was his real daddy, or something - didn't even start on my middle school basketball team. So he grew six inches, transferred, and shat on my high school for the next four years. Oh yeah, um, Duke wins - again.

Duke 89, Indiana 74

When I was in sixth grade, my whole class had to get up in front of the school and sing songs from that ridiculous musical "Oklahoma." I'm not saying "Bear Down Arizona" is Grammy-worthy, but it sure as hell beats songs about corn.

Arizona 82, Oklahoma 78

It was my lifelong dream to go to UCLA, but apparently the fact that I've never illegally parked in a handicapped parking space disqualified me from getting admitted. Plus, all the gel in my hair probably threatened Steve Lavin, who is the greasiest man alive who doesn't work at Los Betos. Still, the Bruins will prevail.

UCLA 74, Missouri 68

I may be from California, but my love for country music and Dick Cheney make me a Texan at heart. As long as T.J. Ford doesn't pull a Kenneth Lay, the Longhorns should be able to pull off the upset. Besides, if Texas ever gets into trouble, they could always get President Bush to invoke executive privilege on the Ducks.

Texas 88, Oregon 81

My editor suggested I make these staff picks "titillating," but I don't think that word comes to mind when you think of Roy Williams. In fact, I don't think that word comes to mind when you think of anyone from Kansas. Except when talking about Elizabeth Dole. She's a hottie.

Illinois 74, Kansas 65

I knew a girl in high school who said that the guys at Duke only got the sorority girls drunk because they wanted to be nice. If the average Duke student is as dumb as she is, then those basketball players have had plenty of time to practice. Oh, and that whole defending national champions thing will be another reason they will win.

Duke 80, Indiana 70

OU was underrated until it got some love when it beat Kansas in the Big 12 Tournament. For UA to win, Gardner must be able to score at will, Stoudamire can't have one of his 2-17 shooting days, and Channing Frye has to put up numbers close to a double-double. All three won't happen.

Oklahoma 73 , Arizona 67

UCLA has once again silenced the Bruins fans who wanted to burn head coach Steve Lavin at the stake. Now, the Bruins have new life and will pull away from the Tigers late in the game. Junior Jason Kapono's sweet shot will bomb Mizzou, which sometimes relies too heavily on forward Kareem Rush.

UCLA 84, Missouri 76

I still don't know how the Longhorns made it this far after Chris Owens went down with a season-ending injury. Big 12 freshman of the year T.J. Ford has filled in nicely, but will falter under pressure. Frederick Jones and Luke Ridnour will have to control the fast tempo and run the floor for UO to win.

Oregon 93, Texas 78

KU head coach Roy Williams has regrouped his team after its loss to OU. Kirk Hinrich is healthy again and forward Drew Gooden is prime to take center stage in Madison, Wis. The big bodies on Illinois, led by Robert Archibald, must contain the Jayhawk inside game to have a prayer.

Kansas 85, Illinois 70

I'll just go ahead and say the obvious: Duke's going to win it all, again. The Blue Devils' perimeter and inside game is just too strong. With Mike Dunleavy Jr., center Carlos Boozer or guard Jason Williams, one of the three will be able to carry them to the Promised Land.

Duke 87, Indiana 64