Photo courtesy of Touchtone Pictures

Chris Kattan, who plays Corky in "Corky Romano," writhes, jitters and squirms his way through the movie. "Corky Romano" opens today.

Friday October 12, 2001

Grade:

D+

In a newly found lost canto of Dante's "Inferno," historians discovered a whole new level of hell.

In this special place in hell, those who told the same tired joke over and over again in life are doomed to repeat the joke for eternity. It is a place of eternal agony and bad humor. There are going to be a lot of "Saturday Night Live" cast members there.

"Stuart Saves His Family," "It's Pat!" and "Superstar!" are all proof of their crimes.

Chris Kattan is among the damned, of course, for "A Night at the Roxbury," but at least "Corky Romano" - which isn't based on an "SNL" character - doesn't damn him further.

But while "Corky Romano" isn't based on an "SNL" character, it feels suspiciously familiar. Kattan maintains the same jtttery chihuahua-like nervousness and nascent Peter-Panism that pervades all his "SNL" characters. It may not be Mr. Peepers, Azrael Abyss or Mango, but it's no better. Or any funnier.

Kattan of course plays Corky Romano, an easy-going veterinarian who has little contact with his Mafia family, until they need a favor from him. They need Corky to pose as an FBI agent and steal some evidence against his father. But the hacker who makes Corky a fake rŽsumŽ goes too far, turning Corky into a martial arts expert, multi-linguist and sharpshooter. Corky now has to fake his way through tough FBI assignments while searching for the evidence against his father.

The plot is so thin, however, that it could be wrapped around containers to keep food fresh. It's as if the writers and director decided that because the end is so obvious anyway, an explanation of how the movie got there isn't necessary. Let's have more scenes of Kattan twitching!

All the other cast members are neither very well known, nor very memorable. One noticeable cast member is Vincent Pastore, not notable for his performance in "Corky Romano," but for the fact that he has made a career out of playing mob characters. He plays one in "Corky Romano," Made, and he plays Big Pussy on "The Sopranos." He may be typecasted, but he also has the best character name on TV.

Peter Falk, who was TV's "Columbo," is also worthy of being mentioned. He plays Chris Kattan's father.

There isn't much to redeem "Corky Romano," except that it's not an "SNL" sketch. Hey, it's not even a Rob Schneider movie. And most importantly, Will Ferrell, who has been in every bad "SNL" alumni movie since Austin Powers (which is the exception), isn't in it. That almost makes "Corky Romano" worthy of a passing grade. Barely.