Illustration by Josh Hagler

Friday November 2, 2001

Apparently, there's a new push around campus to get University of Arizona security to enforce current anti-smoking rules around campus. There's a 25-foot distance that smokers are supposed to keep from all UA buildings while lighting up.

I'm a little worried that if and when this law is actually implemented, it will only be the first step in the UA's war against tobacco. It will only be a matter of time until smokers are treated as outcasts at our university.

I strongly believe that within five years, smoking at the UA will either be banned entirely or be limited to one designated area on campus.

Don't get me wrong; I think smoking is a dumb habit. But it's also a legal habit. Smokers should not be treated like criminals for something that upsets a few people.

To assure you that there is no conflict of interest here, I've never taken a cigarette puff in my life. Both my parents used to smoke, and I could never stand the smell. I don't like cigarettes at all - never have, never will. But I don't begrudge those who do.

Nor, for that matter, do I look down upon cell phone owners. As aggravating as it can be to walk through the UA Mall past five or six consecutive people chattering about nothing in particular on their toy, it's perfectly fine for them to do so.

I've never owned a cell phone, either. It would be nice to have one in my car for emergencies, but I'm not nearly popular enough to come close to needing one around campus. That doesn't mean I should be bitter or resentful to those who want one, even for the vainest of reasons.

Smoking and cell phone haters are synonymous. Most of them aren't opposed to smoking or cell phones while driving because they're hazardous to their health. They hate it because it annoys them. They roll their eyes whenever they see a sorority girl enjoying a meaningless conversation on her phone with a friend a thousand feet away. They give an evil stare to those slackers leaning back on the Economics building enjoying a smoke between classes.

Hey, I do it too, sometimes. I especially get aggravated when people don't have the wherewithal to turn off their phones before lectures. I'm just as irritated as the next person when it comes to these two "evils." But I'd be the last person to attempt to restrict individuals from enjoying their phones and smokes.

Of course, no one is suggesting that cell phones be banned from campus, but as I mentioned earlier, people are suggesting that cell phones be banned while driving. And that's just plain silly.

Like smoking, talking on a cell phone while driving isn't a bright thing to do. But until someone can prove to me that this activity is more dangerous than other activities enacted behind the wheel, such as eating a hot dog, drinking a Thirstbuster, tuning the radio, changing a CD or yelling at kids in the back seat, banning cell phones on the road is ridiculous.

I wrote my first column for the Wildcat on this subject about three months ago. Since then, I've heard some disturbing stories from around the country on this issue, including a proposed law in Connecticut which would not only ban handheld cell phone use while driving, but would also ban eating and tuning the radio at the same time.

I also remember a comic that N.C. Winters did about a month ago, where his character was driving down the street and stopped to look at a college girl in the lane next to him talking on a cell phone. He visualized the car the girl was driving as a ticking bomb, waiting to go off once she crashed the car due to her inattention to the road while she was blabbing on the phone.

The comic, as usual, was very funny, but it also reminded me of something I wrote in that first column. In the scenario that Mr. Winters described, who's the more dangerous motorist: the girl talking on her cell phone, or Mr. Winters' character, taking his eyes off the road to observe the girl?

Automobiles aside, cell phone users shouldn't feel guilty for using their toys for the purpose of vanity or otherwise. The same goes for smokers. Continue to chat it up, and keep on living in flavor country. No one has the right to stop you.