Jon Jordan, Desk assistant Manzanita Mohave Residence Hall

Desk assistant won't hoard your mail but will kick you off that comfy couch

WILDCAT: So what do you do here?

JORDAN: I try to get people's mail delivered.

WILDCAT: You try to get people's mail delivered. Now I'm hearing some hesitation there. Are there some things you just don't want to give up?

JORDAN: No, that's not the thing. I'm just lazy.

WILDCAT: You're just lazy? If I had this job and I'd be all, "Hmm, this looks kind of interesting. I might want to take a peek." You're not anything like that?

JORDAN: (laughing) No comment, yeah, I try not to do that.

WILDCAT: Well my question is, with all the crazy things that happened around here last year, what's the craziest thing you've seen?

JORDAN: What's the craziest thing I've seen? Hmm · there was actually one guy who came in here and basically beat the door down.

WILDCAT: Really?

JORDAN: Yeah, he was going to start a fight with me. It was pretty funny.

WILDCAT: Never any protesters or anything?

JORDAN: No, we just brush them off. This is my second year here, so ·

WILDCAT: Well, what if a transient wanted to come in here and take a load off? I mean, you've got all these nice couches here. This place might actually be nicer than my house! This isn't fair!

JORDAN: Well, I guess if you need a good place to sleep.

WILDCAT: (Wildcat does impression of older man, limping around Jordan) Well hey there, boy, I need a place to sleep.

JORDAN: I've actually seen some bums that have used our couches.

WILDCAT: Hey now! They're transients. That's politically correct isn't it? Well, among most times, when do you really need to take action here?

JORDAN: Well, when there's a fire alarm I have to close the desk down, make sure everyone isn't going upstairs.

WILDCAT: So it seems like a serious time for you. Is it kind of like the "Hunt for Red October," where all the lights go to red and you've got some guy screaming, "Down periscope!"

JORDAN: No, but I've got to lock this thing. What's this called? Oh, it's our case (of keys).

WILDCAT: Is that like the Holy Grail for you guys?

JORDAN: It is the Holy Grail. It holds the keys to all of the rooms. People have gotten fired for not closing it.