Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

This movie is half James Bond, half Indiana Jones. It's all action and no plot. But I was intrigued with "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life" for about 15 minutes. That is, until the buxom heroine managed to punch a blood-frenzied shark in the snout to escape its massive jaws.

I mean, come on.

The special effects guys can give themselves a hearty pat on the back, though. They were the real stars.

What ever happened to really evil bad guys? The meticulous minds of SPECTRE or Lex Luthor? Sorry, but Dr. Reiss (played by the Irish actor Ciaran Hinds) just didn't do it for me. I mean, the character had no real development. We're just supposed to assume that this guy is out to kill everyone. There is no real in-depth look at an evil plot to conquer the world or make tons of cash. This guy apparently just wants to cause some major ruckus with biological weapons.

But the good guys didn't really do it for me either. We were introduced to no less than five of Croft's compatriots, including Gerard Butler's ex-British Marine character, but what of it? They were introduced and then disappeared so quickly so the audience couldn't form any connection with them. Who cares if they live or die?

The whole movie was predictable. I had no doubt from beginning to end that Lara would end up saving the day. It was just like old "Batman" TV episodes: A purple killer elephant? No worries! We packed just the equipment to handle it and save the world.

What utter tripe. It's all about the gadgets for all the situations.

And the ending? Not to spoil anything, but it was like "Congo" meets "Terminator 2". The main plot line didn't even come to a good conclusion. It just left more questions, like, "Why did I sit through this flick?"