Illustration by Cody Angell
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Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday October 2, 2002
With UA's new "Focused Excellence" plan ready to roll, many students are worried that their major's department will suffer the same fate as the Arizona International College. President Peter Likins has some tough decisions to make. But what if you were in control? What would you cut? Liberal arts? Political science? Or would you slash a department totally unrelated to academics? Hard choices are coming ÷ and someone's going to be left out in the cold. Who will ÷ or who should ÷ it be?
Covert programs must be shelved immediately
While nothing would warm my heart more than shedding the cellulite of unnecessary legitimate programs carried inside the UA's proverbial thighs ÷ except maybe flushing that repulsive image I've just conjured from my mind ÷ there is a rumor that much of the money is frittered away by the UA's covert function teams. These must be destroyed.
While the UA parking Gestapo notch the top spot on the "List of Great Satans," an obvious cut has to come from the black bag group responsible for parking ridiculously long cars, some with plastic tail extensions, right on the lines in the parking garages. Driving an ancient OPEC-sponsored mammoth makes maneuvering damn near impossible in spaces smaller than Utah, particularly when people driving zippy imports attempt to fuse with the atoms of my bumper as I futilely wallow like a beached whale.
Another Satan is the Department of Stupid Mall Solicitors. Does anyone remember last year? We'd have light hearted, even comical UA Mall entertainment in the form of spacey Hare Krishnas, unwashed hippies peddling abrasive, rash-inspiring clothing, and maniacal preachers telling us that Jesus is pissed and he's coming back to kick some ass. Now? Phone companies.
Conclusion: Patronize me. Give me parking. Give me mindless diversion. And cut Parking and Transportation Services while we're at it.
Tylor Brand is a philosophy sophomore. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
Eliminate institutionalized prejudiced preferences
In the spirit of making the UA a lean, mean educating machine, a decision has to be made to cut programs. It seems cutting an academic program ÷ regardless of value ÷ would be contrary to the UA's campaign to promote "interdisciplinary knowledge for the purpose of creating new solutions, new answers and new questions for life in the new millennium." How one goes about being interdisciplinary without multiple disciplines available is perplexing at best.
To maintain the interdisciplinary universe of knowledge, the program most appropriately eliminated is the Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action Office. This decision has nothing to do with the staff or their efforts. They do their jobs well and should be commended accordingly. A quick glance at their Web site proves they've been busy.
Institutionalized discrimination on the basis of anything other than merit is clearly wrong. However well-intentioned laws to thwart such reprehensible behavior may be, it is equally wrong to give statutory and institutional preference on the basis of something other than merit. No gender, race or other factor should be advanced at the expense of another for the purpose of meeting quotas.
Equality of opportunity must be championed in every office on this campus, not merely the one on Euclid.
Jason Baran is a public administration & policy graduate student. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
Hit 'em hard: Kill sports
It's difficult for me to choose a department to cut when I fundamentally disagree with the arbitrary budget cuts our state's universities are being forced to face. Our universities are the lifeblood of our communities and UA is clearly the heart of Tucson's economy. Our Legislature's misguided efforts to promote the interests of moneyed special interests rather than our state as a whole have brought on this budget crisis.
If I absolutely had to cut an entire department, I would choose the department in an attempt to make the biggest possible impression on the community without compromising the academic integrity of the university for students who are currently enrolled. With any luck, this would cause public outrage and flood Legislators' mailboxes and phones with complaints from angry constituents demanding that they reverse the budget cuts. For this reason, I would eliminate the Department of Athletics. Athletics is the only department that brings people from all across the community to view ball games and tournaments. This department touches the largest number of people in the community.
I enjoy basketball and football games myself, but I would not choose to eliminate the department with the intent of sending it away forever ÷ merely using it as a tool to convince the community how misguided our Legislators were in creating this senseless budget crisis.
Kendrick Wilson is a political science sophomore. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
Put UA to sleep and solve our problem for good
Pretend for a moment: The UA is desperately under-financed. It may lose another 10 percent of its state funds in the next budget. The most wasteful departments and divisions have already been scrapped. You're Peter Likins. What do you do?
There's nothing left to give, and yet we're being prodded to cut more. It seems evident that some important programs will necessarily go by the wayside; the question is merely which ones.
The natural inclination would, of course, be to cut those departments that are least crucial to the university and those that generate the least money. I, however, propose a different solution: Euthanize the UA. It has suffered long enough in its decrepit and dilapidated state. Rather than trying to skim more money off the top of a tragically shallow pool, we should ease its torment in one fell swoop.
How? By eliminating not just a department, but an entire college ÷ the College of Science. As it brings in more money than any other department on campus, getting rid of it will certainly solve our university's "problem" once and for all.
Caitlin Hall is a sophomore majoring in biochemistry and philosophy. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
Community Outreach needs to go now
I found a department that can be cut from the UA campus without even having to touch the academic departments on campus. Shocking, I know.
The UA Community Outreach program should be the first to go because it is not the UA's first priority to help the community that we are in. It is one of our commitments in times of prosperity, but when we consider paying our teachers less and decreasing the value of a UA diploma, we are insulting our integrity as an educational institution.
There is one part of the program that must stay and, in fact, should improve, if anything: Career Services. Because after we graduate, someone has to help us figure out where to go next. However, educating local teachers for free in colloquiums, the UA News organization that informs the world what our researchers are doing, and osteoporosis prevention education are some of the programs that aren't integral to sustaining the university community.
If UA is supposed to be a "student-centered" research university, we need to remember that in times of financial stress, the needs of the student outweigh the needs of Tucson. The government still gives them money, but we lose money by helping them out when we are the ones who really need the help these days.
Mariam Durrani is a systems engineering senior. She can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.
