Illustration by Arnie Bermudez

Anyone who's had exposure to any kind of media in the last week has noticed that the homosexual revolution is upon us.

From marriage licenses on the left coast to judicial rulings in Tax-achusetts, gays are receiving the same protections afforded to all other Americans, much to the chagrin of the religious right, which is running around like Chicken Little, convinced that the end is upon us.

First to the right: You all need to unclench. I doubt this will be the worst affront we'll see to the morality of the United States in the near future.

All us godless heathens have never had trouble finding ways to mess up our lives, so rest assured, we'll have something else for you to get all worked up about soon.

Tim Belshe Columnist

Besides, nobody's forcing you to like these unions, just respect them. We're not talking about marriage in the religious sense but, rather, the legal one.

No church will ever be forced to perform a marriage for homosexuals against its will.

In addition, once gays are an accepted part of society, they won't be able to use the whole "counterculture" argument to justify unwholesome public displays.

Which brings us to the homosexuals: Congratulations! You're now average Americans. You get the same rights as everyone else, and with that comes the same responsibilities.

This means that when Gay Pride Day comes around, the celebrations had better be greatly subdued compared to previous years.

It's no longer appropriate for a bunch of people to parade down Main Street wearing nothing but G-strings.

Not that it ever was appropriate; it was just tolerated because you were so oppressed.

The average American is pretty reserved when it comes to public displays like that, and now that you're average citizens, too, it won't be tolerated. We've got children in this country, and that sort of thing isn't appropriate for their young eyes.

Another thing to watch out for: No more stunts like the New York Liberty kissing protest a few years ago.

For those of you who don't remember, the lesbian community in New York felt neglected by the New York Liberty.

Since lesbians make up a significant portion of the WNBA fan base, they felt they deserved more recognition from the Liberty than they were getting. As a protest, during a game in 2002, all the lesbians in Madison Square Garden started kissing whenever a time-out was called.

It certainly looks like there were plenty of reasons to be upset with the Liberty and Madison Square Garden, but that doesn't justify public lewdness.

I don't care if the couples were gay or straight; that sort of thing still isn't appropriate. Again, there are children that see these things. I wouldn't be so adamant about this if the only consequence was nauseating the rest of us.

Personally, I think this is going to be a great step for the United States.

There is no reason why any two people shouldn't be able to exercise the same rights as others for reasons that don't concern anyone else. And anyone out there thinking that civil unions are the answer needs to remember what the Massachusetts courts said: History has shown that separate is seldom, if ever, equal.

At any rate, the homosexual community has been invited to the big kids' table, and it's time for them to accept the challenge.

The minority of the gay community that embarrasses the majority, time after time, should be told in no uncertain terms to shut up and sit down.

Most of the homosexuals in our society are good, respectable people.

They deserve the same rights as everyone else.

Frankly, if you can't find it in yourself to live and let live, you're probably not capable of forming a responsible opinion on the matter anyway.

Tim Belshe wishes the best of luck to his homosexual friends and family. He can be reached at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.