Lorenzo Campuzano Custodian for Arizona Student Unions

From the student union ladies' room, campus custodian reveals that a woman's beauty is only skin deep

Wildcat: Hi. My name is Nathan and you're On the Spot. And we're in the girls' bathroom in the student union. How does that make you feel?

Campuzano: (wiping a sink) Same as if I was in the men's room. I'm cleaning.

Wildcat: And you're doing a good job.

Campuzano: (continues wiping sink)

Wildcat: Girls' bathrooms make me feel weird for some reason, like when I was growing up. (pointing to wall) They have all these cool 25-cent things; you get to like, purchase stuff. See, we don't get to buy stuff in our bathrooms.

Campuzano: (no response)

Wildcat: When I was growing up, I could never imagine girls using the restroom · I could never get it into my head. Did you have that problem growing up?

Campuzano: (shaking head)

Wildcat: Really?

Campuzano: Yeah.

Wildcat: So what's the worst thing you've seen in a bathroom?

Campuzano: In here?

Wildcat: Yeah. Like in the toilet ... anything ... the stall ... anywhere.

Campuzano: Sanitary stuff. Crap.

Wildcat: Crap? Literally?

Campuzano: They're just as bad as the men.

Wildcat: Aw, man. I thought girls were all pretty and like ...

Campuzano: They are pretty ... on the outside. In here, (his hand sweeps across the bathroom) it's a different world.

Wildcat: "... it's a different world." Oh, man. The wisdom. Oh my gosh. I've been let in on the ... I'm on the inside now. I know all the secrets.

Campuzano: How does it feel to be on the inside?

Wildcat: It feels real good. I'm going to talk to you more often ...

Campuzano: OK.

Wildcat: ... about my future girl problems.

Campuzano: Alrighty.

÷ Interview by Nathan Tafoya